L.A. Can't Drive » senior

Old Senile Relic Doesn’t Know How to Lock His Vehicle

I-95, U-405 — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 05:18:17 +0000

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Listen, I don’t have a problem with old people driving, as long as they can show that they have the physical aptitude and mental acuity necessary to drive safely. For those of you who have been following this blog for years, you know that I’m a strong advocate for competency testing for all drivers, not just high risk individuals like youth and senior citizens. Regarding the above photograph, the like native L.A. owner of this old Toyota Camry is circled above. And yes, he’s actually sporting an alpine white mullet. Never mind the fact that he couldn’t even park properly in his designated lane in this parking lot at the Americana, since quite frankly, most of the people who shop here can’t park properly regardless of their age. While we were packing up our vehicle, we suddenly heard this guy’s car alarm go off. No biggy, right? However, the alarm wasn’t shutting off….in fact, it was blaring for at least a minute. When we looked over to see what was happening, we saw gramps here sitting in the driver seat with his door open with the stereotypical “WTF is going on?” old-person look. Y’all know what I’m talking about….eyebrows disappearing into the forehead, toothy scowl, crowfeet squints, the whole works. About 20 seconds later with the alarm still blaring, I looked at him and said, “Really? Really??” He just started waving his arms in this hapless fashion. Damn the evil spirits of his electric chariot! Finally, the car alarm went off. Problem solved, right? But I say, nay nay….the alarm starts blaring again, and this whole charade ensues for another minute. We finally got the kids in their car seats and packed up the vehicle through all this racket. As we were pulling out, I saw that this old fart finally had an epiphany: he needed to lock and alarm his vehicle after he’s out of the driver’s seat and has closed the door. Wow, imagine that…who would’ve thought you needed to be physically out of the car with all the doors securely closed before alarming a vehicle? Anyway, he just shuffled away absentmindedly, probably none the wiser in the end. So you be the judge, should this person be driving a vehicle that requires split second decision-making abilities?

Clueless Grandpa Pulling a Split Second Exit

I-95, U-405 — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 06:47:51 +0000

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The old, borderline senior driving this shizzy Dodge Grand Caravan (license plate 5HYX) is a perfect example of the litany of oblivious driving that complements the aggressive assholes in this town. We were driving on the 101 Fwy N heading toward the 405 Fwy interchange. This clueless fool was pacing us to our left in the slowest 101 through lane (I think it was the #3 lane). The other lanes on the freeway clearly feed into either the 405 Fwy N on S on-ramps–plenty of signs and very clear lane markings. Nonetheless, when the lanes bordering the 405 S on-ramp and the 101 through lane became solid white lines and started diverging, baby boomer here decides to cut over at the very last second directly in front of our bumper. All this was happening during very light, mid-day traffic. There was plenty of time for him to signal his intention and then change lanes to his right, either in front or behind us. Yet for reasons unbeknownst to us, he pulled a stereotypical L.A. maneuver of exiting a through lane (either to an interchange or an exit) at the last possible moment. To this day, I still have no idea why so many drivers–particularly the ones who aren’t overtly aggressive–do this. I mean, seriously, are there really that many drivers mentally checking out from behind the wheel? Plan ahead, gramps….and while you’re at it, check your mirrors and blind spots before changing lanes.

Oblivious Senior Drives into Pedestrian Only Area in Parking Structure

I-95, U-405 — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 05:20:14 +0000

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Remember that catastrophic Santa Monica farmer’s market incident, where a really old senior citizen plowed through the market in his car, killing a few pedestrians along the way? Well, I suppose we have to be thankful that this pedestrian walking area at the Sherman Oaks Galleria is small enough to contain morons like the old blue-haired lady driving this Toyota Camry (license plate 4NJR). I took this photo while I was waiting for the elevator, and I seriously couldn’t believe what I was seeing. This old native relic completely ignored concrete boundaries, large stone planters, clear lane markings, and large painted “do not enter” signs and absentmindedly navigated her vehicle (a classic old-person champagne hue) into this pedestrian-only area in the parking structure. Then instead of simply acknowledging her mistake and backing up, she proceeded to execute a 30-point turn to navigate her vehicle around like an aircraft carrier and exit where she entered. I’m sorry, but people like this really shouldn’t be driving. If you know this lady and actually care about her, find alternative arrangements for her getting around town, since she clearly poses a danger to both herself and others.

Tales from a Firefighter (and Another Boring Rain Photo)

I-95, U-405 — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 19:16:57 +0000

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This was taken a few days ago during Monday’s heavy rain. The old native guy driving this Toyota Avalon (license plate 4VDS) was by no means the only one driving on the roads without his head and taillights on, but there you have it. This was on Burbank Blvd. Never mind the fact that the windshield wiper/headlights law has been in effect for years, but common sense alone should dictate that you want to make your vehicle more visible to others in such inclement weather conditions. Then again, common sense is something many people in L.A. seem to lack.

Here’s a submission without a story from an anonymous firefighter:

“I am a firefighter for a major fire department here in California, and on a daily basis I have to shake my head and bite my tounge. And if we could take pictures of some of these mouth breathers I would have a book . While we’re responding to emergencies, pull to the right and stop people–it’s not that hard. People have no clue or do not care.

We have had people race us, stop, and freeze up. Pass us while we are responding (lights and siren blasting) turn in front of us and act like they don’t see us 20 feet off their bumper. And the only time they will pull over and stop is if they see a police officer. We have had people drive behind us across the driveway across the grass as we back into the station–all to get to a red light. More times than I can count. We had one ASSHOLE go into oncoming traffic with a cop right next to him. Yes, he got a ticket.

We had one lady ( I use that term loosely ) follow us to a rescue and scream and threaten us. Did I mention she refused to pull over for over a mile? And when we finally got around her at a red light, she then followed us to the rescue. A local police officer arrived on scene and wrote her a huge ticket (one for the good guys) . We have had people flip us off and yell because we’re blocking a lane at the scene of a traffic collision. How about driving and parking on the driveway of the station to ask for directions as we’re pulling out to go on a response and saying it will only take a second?

And some of the excuses: 1) I didn’t see you. 2) Thats not how we do it in my country (pick a 3rd world country). 3) I was in a hurry. 4) You’re not a cop. 5) Could not hear you over radio/phone/kids.

I wish we had a cop follow us on every run so they could make a fortune and maybe revoke a few driver’s licenses.”

I found all these stories fascinating to read, and not in a good way. I have personally seen drivers completely ignore the sirens and lights of oncoming emergency first vehicles, but the kind of arrogant, egocentric, clueless aggression detailed above was certainly news to me. First responders always have the right-of-way. And yes, even if they’re coming from the opposite direction, you still must pull over to the side of the road until the vehicles passes. And if pulling over to the side isn’t a feasible option, at least come to a friggen stop.

A Slew of Angry Seniors

I-95, U-405 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 05:01:08 +0000

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I consistently see bad driver patterns come in waves, and this most recent wave consists of selfish, arrogant blue-haired denizens of Los Angeles. Though I wasn’t able to get a photo of it today, I was nearing my Wilshire Blvd West exit on the 405 South today and was in the second to slowest lane on the freeway. I clearly signaled to my right, checked my mirrors and blind spot, and saw that I had ample space to change lanes. As I started changing lanes, this mustached (what’s with jackasses and mustaches these days?), angry old fart in a black Mercedes literally guns it in the slowest freeway lane to prevent me from “cutting” in front. I was like, are you serious? Not only do these arrogant fu*ks not signal, but they also do not respect other drivers who signal. Naturally, he was too far back to have actually succeeded this asinine lane-blocking maneuver. When I get in front of him, he first threatened to rear-end me before yanking his steering wheel to the left. Maybe he was amped on Viagra, but something was seriously wrong with the old kook. He gunned it and passed me on my left, at which time he gave me the best threatening stare he could muster (Mr. Magoo was scarier) and gave me an arthritic finger. Wow…seriously? It’s not like he was exiting, either, as he kept on going south on the freeway. If he was in such a rush, maybe he should drive in the faster lanes to his left…just a suggestion from someone who’s clearly more sane and considerate.

Anyway, I digress, since this post actually has to do with this old couple, selfish couple in this Lexus GS300 (license plate 5HNN) who looked like they died yesterday. Maybe they were in a rush to buy burial cloths in the Valley, but that still doesn’t justify them cutting past a long line of cars on Beverly Glen waiting to make a right turn onto Sunset Blvd. in West L.A. The leapfrogging old wife behind the wheel just erratically cut in front of me and hit her brakes as I was making my way slowly toward the intersection. On a side note, what’s with old people driving these piss-champagne-colored vehicles? It’s like a trend that dates back to the 80′s. You would think these people in their late 30′s and 40′s back then would’ve thought the same thing, but yet here they are driving cars with the same old-people paint job. Anyway, maybe this rise in angry seniors has to do with them feeling that their social security and Medicare entitlements are being threatened. All I got to say is don’t take it out on the other drivers–take it out on your politicians.

Too Old to Drive

I-95, U-405 — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 21:06:20 +0000

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Yes, I said it…some people are simply too old to drive. If it’s possible to be too young to drive, why can’t the opposite end of the age spectrum hold true? If you are the children or adult grandchildren of this elderly couple in this dented white Ford Taurus, license plate 5PTM, could you please do a driver’s intervention? The added burden of driving them around or hiring someone to drive for them is a painful, yet necessary, expense, especially if the trade-off is having to deal with insurance claims, lawsuits, or even court hearings because of an auto accident that was completely their fault. We first encountered this couple on Victory Blvd. in Burbank by the Toys ‘R’ Us parking lot. We were in the center turning lane behind two other vehicles waiting to make a left into the parking lot. A small clusterfu*k ensued when the old grandpa driving this car was stopped in the #2 lane of traffic by the driveway entrance/exit, causing a line of five or six honking cars behind him. Though he wasn’t signaling (another problem all unto itself), it became clear to us that he and his darling old wife wanted to make a right turn into the parking lot. There was another driver exiting the lot at the same time, opting to make a left onto Victory, but this driver was yielding to traffic moving along Victory in the #1 lane. This was a clear two-way traffic driveway, equipped with lane markings and arrows, and the driveway had more than enough width to accommodate both vehicles; nonetheless, the old man in the Taurus refused to make his right turn, fearing that he would collide into the other driver exiting the lot. I’m sorry, but if you have an inability to assess the size of your vehicle, have severe depth perception issues, and demonstrate a paralyzing fear of driving on our roads in a way that endangers the safety of others, then you shouldn’t be driving. Super seniors like this man, with painfully slow reflexes and sub-par levels of cognition, should not be allowed behind the wheel. Eventually, the driver leaving the lot had clearance to make his left, at which time grandpa proceeded to make a very slow, wide right turn. We snapped this picture as his next saga of the moment was navigating his vehicle into a parking spot at a speed that rivaled docking cruise ships.

Merge Much, Old Man?

I-95, U-405 — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 05:11:58 +0000

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Here’s a submission I received a few months ago that I dug up in the archives. The last few posts have really highlighted some very typical L.A. driving behavior, and the story regarding this Ford Explorer (license plate 4DBU) is no different:

“Angry old people should not drive. Period. Their license should be taken away permanently because they are a clear danger to both themselves and other drivers. My husband and I were driving in Beverly Hills on Doheny when we came across a stretch of road where two lanes merged into one. We were in the lane that had the right-of-way when I heard the engine of this Ford Explorer behind us. Instead of merging behind us where there was plenty of room and when he had plenty of time to do so, I saw this angry old man speeding past us in what was now a lane occupied by parked cars. And without signaling, he cuts right in front of us.”

People seriously have no idea how to merge properly in this town. So many drivers sacrifice safety and courtesy just to skip a few car-lengths ahead without making any dent in their overall commute time. Leapfrogging behavior like this on the freeways is the worst, often causing an unnecessary bottleneck of traffic and accidents that clearly could have been avoided if these jackholes got their heads out of their asses.