L.A. Can't Drive » obstruction

Obstinate Stubborn Lady in Ford Explorer

I-95, U-405 — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 05:56:36 +0000

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So here is a rare instance where we’ve actually built up some data on a particular driver who is routinely violating parking regulations by our favorite red hydrant in Santa Clarita by Jakes Way and Eleanor Circle. As our submitter in the area reports, some people never learn as the lady who owns this dark green Ford Explorer still feels complete entitled to block in other drivers while obstructing a fire hydrant, despite having been confronted by a resident in the area and despite having received multiple citations from law enforcement. In one reported occasion, the officer spoke to the lady directly and hand-delivered the parking ticket. Yet, here she is again, the arrogant, inconsiderate twat bag. I suppose the silver lining is that she’s personally funding the repairs of potholes in the area, I suppose…that is if she’s even paying her fines.

It is Not Cool to Mentally Check Out at Intersections

I-95, U-405 — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 05:51:00 +0000

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I honestly have no idea what’s going on through the heads of some drivers in Los Angeles. So many of them seriously tune out at the least opportune times. Case in point, let’s talk about this clueless couple in this Ford Fusion (license plate 6NBL). We were traveling in North Hollywood during rush hour on Magnolia Blvd. going west. When we reached Cahuenga, we were stopped at a green light for bumper-to-bumper traffic ahead of us. Though technically all drivers are supposed to keep the intersection clear until they can safely traverse, almost all of us never do this–myself included. The more conscientious drivers will at least make educated guesses as to whether they have enough time to clear the intersection before the light turns red. But what happens if we actually get stuck in the middle when the lights start changing? Well, again, the more considerate drivers will do their best to clear the path for oncoming cars. Not these idiots. This guy and his passenger felt completely content to sit smack in the middle of the intersection. We even backed up a bit to at least enable them to clear part of the crosswalk if they wanted to. Alas, to no avail. The light turned red for us and green for perpendicular traffic, and these fools continued sitting there like ducks in a barrel. It took cars on Cahuenga to honk at them for them to grow some brain cells and start backing up. We snapped this photo when they stopped, and as you can clearly see, they are still way over the farthest limit line for westbound Magnolia traffic. Seriously, folks, I know we spend so much time in our cars, but we certainly have an obligation to both others and our own safety to make a concerted effort not to mentally check out, particularly in these scenarios.

Some Neighborhoods Never Learn

I-95, U-405 — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 08:00:22 +0000

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You seriously would think that people who live around this area would know better by now. I think not. Here’s the latest update on what’s going on in Santa Clarita by Jakes Way and Eleanor Circle:

“Smart. Very smart. Not. There was a bashed in right rear quarter panel that looked like they tried to pound it out with a hammer from the inside and a smashed left front fender with yellow parking pole paint transfer on it. And of course bumper kissing the Ranger behind, successfully preventing that person from leaving. Is it a shock the owner of this new Infiniti SUV doesn’t give a shit about parking? But note the early Christmas card from the city. He beat me this morning, lol!”

As shocked as I may be to acknowledge that there are so many people in this small microcosm of Los Angeles who feel that they can get away with this crap, I find solace in the fact that at least law enforcement in this particular area seem to be doing their job.

Thankless Road Raging Prick in MINI

I-95, U-405 — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 07:07:01 +0000

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We took this photo during the holidays last week. This road raging asshole was so obsessed with asserting his perceived dominance on the road in this dinky MINI Cooper that he nearly missed his exit. Alternately, there is a very real possibility that he knew exactly what he was doing but just wanted to treat each encounter with a random driver as an opportunity to overcompensate for the fact that he was born with clitoris-sized dick. Allow me to explain: we were traveling on the 134 Fwy going westbound in Glendale. We were signaling our way to the left to merge into the carpool lane while the lane was still bordered by dotted white lines instead of double yellows. As we approached the #1 lane on the freeway, I checked both my mirrors and my blind spot and saw that there was plenty of clearance. As I eased my way to the left, this fu*khead gunned it in an asinine attempt to block “his” lane. I quickly corrected to avoid a collision as he threatened to sideswipe my car. He then had the audacity to flip us the finger as if we did something wrong by signaling and easing our vehicle across the freeway. This crackpot then proceeded to bumper hump the driver in from of him before yanking his wheel to the right to California Cut (without signaling) towards an exit. Talk about short-sighted, senseless aggression. The toolbag was about to exit, yet he had to use the few hundred feet he had left on the freeway to laneblock and lick the asshole of another car. Empty roads…plenty of space to do his thang. Whatever…maybe he had no friends or family to celebrate Thanksgiving with. That wouldn’t be surprising.

Belligerent Illegal Parker Ignores Repeat Citations

I-95, U-405 — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 03:05:12 +0000

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This story was too asinine not to be true. People in this town really are that lazy, that selfish, and that apathetic. Here’s what our reporter said about our hydrant up in Santa Clarita:

“Tickets?? Who cares!! Every day for the last week, the female driver of this Exploder (yes, Exploder) has been parking at the infamous hydrant. And every day, she has been ticketed, but she still continues to do it. Even after I told her that law enforcement will ticket her vehicle, her answer was she does not care; she lives right over there and does not want to walk too far because the parking sucks here. Well duh!!”

So just because the parking sucks in your area and you’re too lazy to walk your ass an extra block or so, that makes it absolutely kosher to back into and block in another driver’s car while illegally parking too close to a fire hydrant? The self-entitlement in this town never ceases to amaze me. Just today, as my wife and I were running errands on Black Eye Friday, this crazy wench blows through a stop sign at a two-way stop sign intersection, nearly hits our vehicle, and refuses to acknowledge us or her erroneous behavior as I leaned on my horn. Good thing she didn’t hit us because I also had my son in my car. Anyone risking the safety of my family, especially while pulling these twat-yanking maneuvers, will get reamed a new asshole, and I will do everything in my legal power to make sure this person pays out the maximum allowed by law in insurance premiums and liability claims.

Checking up on our Santa Clarita Hydrant

I-95, U-405 — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 04:13:35 +0000

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

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It’s been awhile since we’ve seen what’s going on with our favorite little red hydrant up by Jakes Way and Eleanor Circle in Santa Clarita. Have drivers up there finally learned their lesson? I think not. Here’s what our submitter reported:

“Nothing like blocking in the car again…(Exhibit A). And look who just showed up! (Exhibit B).”

I refuse to believe this many people who need to park near this particular hydrant have no idea about the illegality of parking right next to or near a fire hydrant. Rather, I find it easier to believe that this many people really are selfish, lazy, or don’t care about this law and just park wherever the hell they feel like it, even if it means obstructing a hydrant and simultaneously blocking in another driver against the curb. They probably drive like arrogant pricks, too. At least the driver of this shizzy sedan got his/her comeuppance.

Texting Moron in Audi During Rush Hour

I-95, U-405 — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 04:19:40 +0000

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When I first started this blog five years ago, Mustang and Escalade drivers took the top prize for being the biggest dicks on the road. Since then, Audi drivers have clearly become the most egregious, aggressive, arrogant drivers on the road in my book. Give me a locker room lineup, and I will bet you that the guy with the smallest dick is an Audi driver. Too harsh? OK, he can have big balls; I’m feeling generous tonight. Anyway, this particular punk sported a bushy mustache that would make Tom Selleck blush. From what I saw, he wasn’t your typical aggressive Audi driver (license plate 6SVH), though we didn’t share the road for more than a couple blocks. I took this photo waiting in traffic on Van Nuys during afternoon rush hour just before the 101 Fwy overpass. See the big painted KEEP CLEAR signs? Well, most drivers here either don’t see it or don’t care about blocking intersections. I was stopped at the limit line, along with the cars in front of the Audi and the new Honda Civic (who didn’t do much better than the Audi driver here). We allowed left-turning cars going southbound on Van Nuys to turn in front of us onto a side street. When those cars cleared, there was room in two of the three lanes for one, and only one, car to move up and clear the intersection completely. This bushy-lipped punk was too busy texting on his phone to pay attention to what other drivers were doing around him (ie. keeping the intersection clear, allowing other cars to pass in front, etc.) that he just blindly followed the white pickup. And these people are the very ones who claim that they aren’t distracted and can “multitask” when they text on their cell phones while they drive. Bull-frackin’-sh*t, I say. What if this guy was just impatient and clueless, and he thought that moving twenty feet closer to a red light would expedite his commute? Well, when the light turned green, this punk just kept on texting. In fact, he didn’t even keep up with the rest of the cars in front of him and started crawling along on Van Nuys. Hell, he didn’t even have his eyes on the road….talk about behaviors that just fuel road rage in other drivers during rush hour.