L.A. Can't Drive » native

Blatant Red Light Runner from a Dead Stop

I-95, U-405 — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 03:46:00 +0000

Idiocy Meter

Asshole Meter

It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a red light runner this egregious, but after driving alongside this guy in his late 50′s in an older model Ford Explorer for several miles while going south on Sepulveda from the Valley, I figured he was more idiot than asshole. Allow me to elaborate: We were stopped at a red light on Sepulveda, much like what’s shown in this photo. This native (license plate 3UZ, red and beige Explorer with faded flames…yes, flames…painted on the side) was first at the light. We were stopped for several seconds when all of a sudden this mustached douche bag decided to run the red light. He didn’t gun it, he just started to accelerate as if the light changed to green. But alas, it was still red, and you can see the heads of all the other drivers stopped at the light turn and follow this guy, wondering what he was doing. He slowed for a fraction of a second as his rear bumper passed through the center of the intersection, at which point I’m guessing he realized that he just “crept” through a red light but decided to keep going since he’d already gone too far. I haven’t talked about creeping in awhile, but it’s a common habit of a lot of drivers here (in NYC, I really only saw cabbies doing it). Creeping is when you see a car start rolling into the intersection when the light is still red, as if the driver is anticipating when the light will turn green. Creeping makes absolutely no sense to me, since it’s not like you’re giving your car a head start. Is it some strange pet peeve of L.A. drivers that they MUST have their car in motion when the light turns green? I’ve seen creepers go pretty far into an intersection before the light actually changes, but I’ve only seen a handful of creepers actually full-blown run a red light like this tool. A cop would’ve had a field day with this one.

More Leapfrogging at the 101/405 Interchange

I-95, U-405 — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 19:00:50 +0000

Idiocy Meter

Asshole Meter

I was late to the dentist this morning, though it’s sad to say that going 20 miles in an hour is still considered “not bad” by L.A. standards. Naturally, matters for everyone on the road aren’t improved by leapfroggers like the guy driving this older model Mercedes (likely native, 4UKZ license plate). Most of you can recognize this as the interchange from the 101 N (left 4 lanes) to the 405 Fwy N/S. I snapped this picture while stopped in traffic in the lane that takes you to the 405 S. Make no mistake that the majority of drivers who do this know better, but they still insist on holding up traffic in the #4 through lane on the 101 by passing as many cars in the interchange lanes as possible before cutting over. Considering this was late morning rush hour, traffic was often at a standstill in the 2 interchange lanes, which resulted in selfish, impatient jackasses literally parked in the #4 lane on the 101. Although this particular driver didn’t do this, I saw another moron this morning cut right in front of a semi from the #3 lane into the #4 lane and hit his/her brakes in order to merge to one of the 405 Fwy lanes. Genius, right?

Selfish, Senseless Merging Habits

I-95, U-405 — Sat, 29 May 2010 04:31:43 +0000

Idiocy Meter

Asshole Meter

This likely native in an old Toyota Corolla (license plate 4KDY) seems to have gotten the asshole freeway merging tactic down to a tee. I was traveling on the 101 Fwy N. during rush hour near the Gower off-ramp. First of all, I can’t stand the multitude of freeway on-ramps and off-ramps in L.A. where drivers literally have only a few hundred feet to negotiate getting on and off the freeway with other commuters. You would think the city could space out these ramps better. Anyway, this toolbag, like quite a few other selfish, impatient drivers, waited until the very last second to merge onto the freeway from one of these on/off-ramps. In fact, he missed the sloping off-ramp by a few feet as he cut over the solid white line “painted island divider” to cut in front. Seriously, would it have killed him to merge a few cars sooner? Do these people really think they’re saving time on their commute by playing chicken with their vehicles and skipping over a few extra cars at the risk of causing a collision or possibly even exiting the freeway (and having to come around again)? This jackass had a pretty nasty dent in the left rear quarter panel of his car, too….gee, I wonder how he got that.

Psst, Check Your Mirrors Before Pulling Away from the Curb

I-95, U-405 — Mon, 17 May 2010 01:43:28 +0000

Idiocy Meter

Asshole Meter

The likely native driving this old black Ford pickup truck (license plate 5X1) was cruising around with his driver’s side sideview mirror turned inwards. And since I don’t have a FAQ section yet, I will reiterate that I am aware that transplants to this state can buy used cars that have older license plates on them. As a result, not everyone driving an older vehicle with older CA plates is a native. (With that said, if you see new CA plates on an old vehicle, that’s a guarantee that you’re dealing with a recent transplant.) However, as a transplant myself and as someone who knows way more transplants than natives due to my profession, most of us brought our old cars with us. Do we purchase used cars? Duh…of course we do. But it would be naive to give the benefit of the doubt every single time we see an older vehicle with older CA plates doing something idiotic or assholish on the road. Transplant or not, the clueless/aggressive drivers on this blog live here now, and we all have to deal with that reality. Just this weekend, I got in another rear-ender with a Ford F150 whose driver wasn’t paying attention and thought his foot was on the brake. We were in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the I-5 South near the 10 and 60 interchanges. There was also a slew of pretty bad accidents on multiple freeways this past Saturday morning. That’s 3 rear-enders in 4 years (living here full-time) versus zero rear-enders in all the time I was driving in NY. Given the many hours that we spend behind the wheel in Los Angeles, we need to be that more vigilant about not losing our focus while driving. I’m sure the driver of this Ford pickup parked on a narrow street and didn’t want his sideview mirror knocked off by a passing vehicle. However, you’re supposed to check for traffic before you pull away from the curb….correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe that involves looking at your blind spot and both the rearview and sideview mirrors.

Cocky Porsche Parking Job

I-95, U-405 — Wed, 12 May 2010 03:34:46 +0000

Idiocy Meter

Asshole Meter

Why is the asshole meter so high? At first glance, you may wonder what’s wrong with this picture? A second later you might say, “Hey, that’s a pretty big parking spot for that silver Porsche convertible (license plate 4RMR). And then upon closer inspection, you get an aha! moment: that jackass parked his car right over the “enter” arrow of this parking lot, essentially blocking half the driveway in the process. This was taken in that tiny parking lot where there’s a Jinky’s in Sherman Oaks. Granted, parking is scarce and the layout is horrible, but that doesn’t give you the right to conjure up a parking space out of thin air. And no, there’s no valet service here for those who are wondering, so you can’t blame this asinine parking job on anyone else but the owner of this car. I suppose this person thinks if you have wealth and a nice ride, you can park wherever you want…let the lesser peons fight for a legitimate parking space–talk about blatant arrogance.

How Hard Is It to Park Within 18 Inches from the Curb?

I-95, U-405 — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 02:06:46 +0000

Idiocy Meter

Asshole Meter

Let’s stick with more bad parking photos. In response to the last post, today’s is for the transplants (note the 4 license plate on the second white sedan). These two sedans were parked on Wilshire in Santa Monica by the 3rd St. Promenade. The sedan that’s closer is a good 2 1/2 feet from the curb. FYI, California generously states that you must be no more than 18 inches from the curb when you parallel park. Why is that so hard to do, people? We’re really good about ticketing for expired meters and for failing to follow parking sign regulations, but for some reason, I have yet to see drivers or hear of drivers getting ticketed for parking too far from a curb or for obstructing driveways. The white sedan in the back pulled up as I was framing this photo…I suppose the people in the car weren’t paying attention to what I was doing, because they in turn parked about 2 feet away from the curb. In case you don’t know this by now, but half-assing anything is a huge pet-peeve of mine, and seemingly a hobby of large percentage of denizens in this town. Granted, no one is getting hurt here, so what’s the big deal? It’s because only egocentric, lazy bitches who only care about their own agendas would park this way. One can only imagine how these less than stellar character attributes manifest themselves in other areas of driving.

Scruffy Dude in Junk Car Tailgating Motorcyclist

I-95, U-405 — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 17:40:02 +0000

Idiocy Meter

Asshole Meter

Alright, so this picture didn’t come out as well as I had hoped, but it’s good enough. What you don’t see in the photo is a guy on a small motorcycle right in front of the crappy, light-blue, dented piece of junk circled in red. First off, I should add that the unkempt native driver (license plate 4XYX) of this car was a scruffy-looking dude in his early 30′s sporting a scraggly goatee. Seriously, who voluntarily wears goatees anymore, let alone one that looks like you killed a rat and crazy-glued it to your face? Introduce me to someone normal with a scraggly goatee, and I will eat my son’s dirty diaper. Anyway, if this guy was braking, you’d also see that he has a malfunctioning rear left taillight, a further testimony to his apathetic malaise (as if the numerous dents and dings on his car weren’t enough). But the fact that he looks like a dirty sack of sh*t (and drives one) is besides the point. What really annoyed me was how he started to really ride the rear tire of the guy in front of him as he approached his turn on Riverside (in Studio City). Maybe it happens in other cities–I honestly don’t know–but aggressive drivers in L.A. are notorious for impatiently tailgating with added fervor whenever they approach their intended turn off the road, whether it be a turn-only lane, the next block, a freeway exit, etc. If you are one of these people, can you intelligibly tell me why you do this? Honestly, I doubt any of you can really make a legitimate argument why it’s so necessary to bumper-hump the frack out of the other driver (or motorist, in this case) when in reality you’ll only end up sitting at a red light or slowing down to a point where the other driver you were tailgating ends up passing you anyway. Think, people. That’s all I’m asking. Use your friggen brains.