Anyway, I digress, since this post actually has to do with this old couple, selfish couple in this Lexus GS300 (license plate 5HNN) who looked like they died yesterday. Maybe they were in a rush to buy burial cloths in the Valley, but that still doesn’t justify them cutting past a long line of cars on Beverly Glen waiting to make a right turn onto Sunset Blvd. in West L.A. The leapfrogging old wife behind the wheel just erratically cut in front of me and hit her brakes as I was making my way slowly toward the intersection. On a side note, what’s with old people driving these piss-champagne-colored vehicles? It’s like a trend that dates back to the 80′s. You would think these people in their late 30′s and 40′s back then would’ve thought the same thing, but yet here they are driving cars with the same old-people paint job. Anyway, maybe this rise in angry seniors has to do with them feeling that their social security and Medicare entitlements are being threatened. All I got to say is don’t take it out on the other drivers–take it out on your politicians.

“At the Encino Chase ATM on Ventura Blvd., and not one… but two violators (missed the 1st car) who think it’s okay to block a fire lane for a $40.00 withdrawl. No wonder LA can’t drive, it can’t even park!”

Unfortunately, such incidents of parking violations, whether it be in handicap parking spaces or fire lanes, are so common in Los Angeles. Just ask Andrew Bynum about that. The instinctive reaction from apathetic Angelenos to people who point out such transgressions is usually, “What’s the big deal?” Well, it’s illegal for one, inconsiderate in other cases, and what’s so hard about parking a bit farther away and walking your fat, lazy ass a few extra feet?

Now the following doesn’t have a photo, but I certainly can relate to not only the encounter but also the occasional regrettable outbursts:

“Today I learned the valuable lesson that I should never count on the other driver to not cross a solid white line. I confess this incident also involved me being part of the problem for a quarter of a mile, as my anger at what happened was so intense and I couldn’t keep it together today. I was heading toward Barham from Mulholland. I made a right over the small bridge at the end of Mulholland and then a left onto Lakeridge where I then waited at the stop sign to turn right onto Cahuenga Blvd. East.

On Cahuenga, right up to the road I was on, is a long solid white line because one of the lanes to my south is a 101 off-ramp. When I made my move, everyone was in the far lane perpendicular to me–the off-ramp lane. The lane I needed was clear, so away I went when an older Russian guy in a giant light tan Mercedes sedan with his wife in the back decided to hop over the solid white line. Now at this right turn, I always accelerate quickly and reach the speed of traffic right away. This guy was way behind, but I guess he got pissed off because he gunned it although we were all moving great and there was lots of space for him behind me. He almost rammed into my truck and then appeared on my left trying to cut me off–instead, he nearly ran me off the road.

Now we’re in both right turn lanes and I was yelling at him and keeping up with him. I see his wife in the back yelling, either at me or him I don’t know, but he slowed down as we were approaching the next intersection. I was going way too fast at the right arrow and actually skidded at the turn. Luckily, my Outback is very good in those situations and nothing worse happened than what I already participated in.

Then I got a hold of myself and realized what had happened, to which I feel a lot of regret about. I’m even feeling a bit like I have PTSD right now. It’s enough to make me want to pack up the family and move back to NYC and get stuck on the F train next to a guy who hasn’t bathed for a month. Thanks for your website.”

I did an interview today for someone who writes for the Daily Breeze, a local South Bay newspaper. The issue of road rage came up, and I truly believe such rage is worse in L.A. because of a toxic cocktail of unfortunate circumstances: 1) We spend more time in our cars than anyone else in the U.S. 2) The time we spend in our vehicles causes us to treat our cars as an extension of our own egos instead of a tool that gets us from point A to point B. 3) We are insulated from the rest of society more than we realize and fail to treat other drivers on the road as fellow humans who share our predicament. 4) L.A. is truly a salad bowl–and an untossed one at that–and not a melting pot; we fail to empathize or relate to others, causing us to slowly categorize people from all different ethnic and/or socioeconomic backgrounds as consistently poor drivers.

The key to diffusing road rage is understanding that we are all integral members of a community who need to function together in order to achieve a common objective, in this case a commute with the least amount of stress and frustration possible. The city does a fine job countering that effort with horrible roads, pathetic public transportation, poor city planning regarding streets, intersections, traffic signals, and more, and road construction that takes half a lifetime to complete. We need to be defensive drivers, since selfish, aggressive pricks will always litter our streets like dust mites in your pillows. And we need to find some outlet for our frustrations, whether it be listening to audio books, singing along with music, pondering over debates on talk radio, or writing a blog.

Maybe it’s a side effect of the heat wave we had last week, but we’ve been experiencing an inordinately large number of clueless, vapid drivers on the road, even by L.A. standards. Need more proof? Here’s the story I promised:

“I just gotta write to you about today. It was too much. I was off work and am in the process of replacing the interior of my roommate’s car in my free time. But we are doing it on a budget, which means running around town picking up supplies–Lowes, craft store, etc. Craft store didn’t have what we needed, but another store did across town in Valencia, our “Awesometown” so it’s called (I call it Yuppieville due to all the rich self-entitled snobs). As much as I didn’t want to go, the sight of a fresh interior in the ’65 called, so off to Valencia we went. Traffic can’t be too bad at 1pm on a weekday, can it? It didn’t take long before we encountered idiot #1 in the shopping center where craft store #2 is. There was a 2-way stop sign. I stop; road to the left has a stop, but the opposite lane in front of me DOES NOT have a stop. A white car starts coming through, but a female on the phone in a red Altima is going about 10 mph from a side street just rolls right through, almost taking out the white car who is now honking and flipping the Altima off. We are just laughing and watch the Altima cluelessly meander through the lot with her phone still glued to her ear. Coming home (keep in mind this all happens in about 30 minutes), we meet dumb broad #2 in a new Mercedes E350. This was at Creekside Rd. at Valencia Blvd.–there are 3 lanes, 2 are dedicated left turn lanes. I’m in the right of the left turn lanes and she is in the left. We’re just sitting there when this broad all of a sudden makes a RIGHT turn in front of me almost mowing down a pedestrian and, of course, cutting off numerous cars in the process. Ok, we almost made it home when dumb broad #3, female in a new BMW 335i going down Sierra Hwy coming up to Jakes Way, SLOWLY flips a u-turn in front of oncoming traffic and SLOWLY picks up speed. So I wait for traffic to clear and make my turn, and of course, I end up behind her again. Up ahead is a school bus with red lights flashing and that stop sign flipped out and flashing as well. I hit the brakes and slow down, but when I stop, her brake lights go out and she keeps going and AROUND the school bus, almost going head-on into oncoming traffic!! We finally made it home safe and sound, minus a few more hair follicles…… Share it if you want. I seriously wish I got pics but my new phone is hard to do the quick point and shoot thing.”

No worries about the photos. I’ll share any frustrating stories anybody wants to share regarding their driving experiences around town. The third lady in this trilogy of stupidity really takes the cake. She exemplifies the L.A. mentality of so many horrible drivers here of “making one’s own right-of-way”, which is a contradiction in and of itself. This self-entitlement forces other drivers to act defensively in order to avoid collisions with these other arrogant or oblivious assholes who blatantly break the law at every turn. As if her illegal u-turn wasn’t bad enough, but she seriously could’ve hit some kids by swerving around that school bus. Too bad cops almost never see a litany of offenses like that, or else this woman’s license would be suspended almost immediately.

“Like I said, they come in swarms. This is today, 6/23. This vehicle combines the 3 things I hate in a vehicle. Mercedes, suv and hybrid. Combine them all and you get this ML 450 Hybrid, the ultimate in the “I don’t give a shit about anyone else I can do whatever I want cause I got money and I’m saving the planet”. The Ram behind can’t get out, I’m sure he’s gonna have a nice start to his day.”

Here’s what I don’t understand: why even block in the vehicle behind you? Seriously, I have no idea why these drivers even try to back up as much as they do, since they’re clearly parking way too close to the red hydrant. Though a painted red curb would help, I doubt the toolbag owner of this Mercedes actually believed that (s)he was parked at a legal distance away from the hydrant. And yet, even in this blatant display of apathetic arrogance, you see the dimness of this person’s intellect in the way (s)he is bumper-humping the Dodge pickup, as if to make a feeble plea to any parking enforcement that at least (s)he tried to not obstruct the fire hydrant. Yeah, good luck with that, jackass.