L.A. Can't Drive » creeping

Aggressive Short Middle-Aged Lady in Huge Navigator

I-95, U-405 — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 06:00:54 +0000

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Woooh, Nelly….Watch out for the short, squat, raging middle-aged brunette biatch in this Lincoln Navigator (license plate 4ZKV). This likely L.A. native is an accident waiting to happen, as she was steering this behemoth like a mad woman waving around a loaded gun in a crowded room. She was viciously and impatiently tailgating me all along the single eastbound lane on Moorpark in Toluca Lake. She continued her shenanigans as we merged onto Riverside/Alameda by Burbank; at this point, the road split to two eastbound lanes, and she kept hockey-pucking back and forth without signaling, erratically yanking her wide-assed vehicle left and right. I saw her huffing and puffing, waving her arms in frustration at afternoon rush hour. Dude, that’s life in L.A…..deal with it or get the hell out. Maybe create a blog and vent if you have to, but jerking other drivers around because you have an inability of seeing matters objectively is your problem–not other’s. Naturally, she didn’t get anywhere fast, and I kept witnessing her cutting off and tailgating other cars in front of me, only to be stopped at the next subsequent red light, at which point in time creeping ensued.

Creeping in the OC

I-95, U-405 — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 11:52:43 +0000

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I want to apologize in advance if my posts become a bit erratic the next couple of weeks. I’m in the process of moving, so hopefully I’ll be able to squeeze a post in here and there. Before I talk about this submission, I did want to give a nice shout-out to the wannabe, punk-ass troll blaring his radio at 9:30 at night in Burbank (oh, you’re so hard, mofo). This punk was speeding around a corner approaching a stop sign intersection while I was already walking halfway across the street. When I noticed the car, I started walking faster just when this self-entitled, half-wit starts to flash his high beams at me. Um…crosswalk? Stop sign? Ring a bell, or were you too busy blowing spit bubbles in that class, too? This arrogant fu*k also had the gall to stare at me as I stared incredulously back at him. I’d spell that word out for him if I thought it would do him any good, though he’d probably get lost by the time I get to ‘r’. Anyway, too many egocentric, clueless morons in this town don’t realize that driving isn’t a right protected by our federal or state constitution; it’s a privilege that more often than not should be taken away from punks like this fool who treat driving like a game.

Although blatant disrespect of pedestrians is a serious pet peeve of mine in this town, nonsensical creeping at red lights is another. Here’s a submission I received from a reader in Orange County:

“A while back I submitted a photo of a creeper who took it to another level by waiting in the middle of an intersection in Mid-Wilshire. Well, as this attachment proves, you’ll find creepers even in the coddled land of the 949 who would rather wait for their (long) lights in the way of crossing traffic. This was taken in Lake Forest at the intersection of El Toro and Portola.”

Mind you, this person didn’t come to a stop this far into the intersection, though failing to see a red light until it’s too late doesn’t exactly earn you a gold star, either. Rather, this person actually chose to enter this far into the intersection after coming to a stop along with everyone else and kept going…. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Southern California has some of the slowest red light runners in this country.

Native Infiniti Runs a Red

I-95, U-405 — Thu, 12 May 2011 06:31:29 +0000

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Could someone please enlighten me as to what this likely native L.A. driver was possibly thinking? Bad drivers exist everywhere, but in this town, much of what we can consider “bad driving” behavior is so illogical that I have a hard time relating to what can only be described as primeval and under-evolved. I was driving in Burbank traveling east on Verdugo behind this guy in an older model dark green Infiniti Q45 (license plate 3CHZ). I have no idea what was going on through this guy’s head, so I can only hazard a guess as to why he was jumping the gun at a red light. Let me explain: We were stopped at a red light a couple blocks before Buena Vista. While the light was still red, a car to our left on a perpendicular street was making a left turn while its traffic light just changed from green to yellow. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, right? Well, apparently this moron in front of me had some sort of knee-jerk, Southern Cali egocentric asshole reaction and started accelerating through the red light. Mind you, this wasn’t a classic case of creeping. This guy was running the red light as if the light were green. I can only guess that some part of him didn’t want a car to “cut” in front of him for some nonsensical reason, and he instinctively started hitting the gas while the light was still red. I guess he had a flash of clarity because he did end up stopping his car…when only his rear bumper was over the farthest limit line. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why someone would drive like that. It didn’t look like a situation where he tuned out and let his foot off the brake, since like I said he actually gunned the accelerator. And I’m sure most of us are familiar with the situation where we are stopped at a red light with a left turn only lane to our left, and we accidentally let our foot off the brake when the green left turn arrow comes on, despite the fact that we still have a solid red. No, this situation didn’t apply here, either. So your guess is as good as mine, but there you have it….

Lady Veers into Opposing Traffic and Runs Red Light

I-95, U-405 — Fri, 06 May 2011 07:09:10 +0000

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

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The middle-aged brunette driving this silver Toyota FJ Cruiser (license plate 6CDG) is an arrogant, apathetic twatbag who needs to be removed from the streets. Immediately. These pictures don’t even come close to doing this story justice: to say that she was barely crossing the double yellow lines on bends going south on Beverly Glen from the Valley would be a gross understatement. It was absolutely clear that she knew where she was going and that she took this surface street commute to bypass highway traffic on the 405 on a regular basis during rush hour. However, it was even more clear that she was a tad too comfortable with this route because she kept cutting turns like some race car driver, refusing to stay in the single southbound lane on Beverly Glen. Cutting over the shoulder is one thing, but who in their right mind regularly crosses the double yellow lines into opposing traffic? I sh*t you not, she did this at least a couple dozen times as I was following behind her this morning. On four separate occasions, she nearly clipped off the sideview mirror of northbound traveling vehicles. One particular driver had a startle and swerved a bit to avoid a potential collision. The bitch driving this SUV either wasn’t aware that she was orientationally challenged or just didn’t give a flying fu*k. Remember, these pictures do not do this story justice…frequently, nearly half her vehicle was in the lane of opposing traffic. Now why am I not cutting her any slack? As we approached the junction at Sunset Blvd., we stopped at a red light. At this particular intersection, the roads aren’t perpendicular, and Beverly Glen feeds into Sunset before deviating south once again a couple hundred feet farther west. However, this is not a legal right turn on red situation, and a green traffic arrow exists to further emphasize this point. In other words, if the light is red, you need to stay put behind the limit line and wait, regardless of whether cars are coming or not. And need I remind you, she knows this already. What did this lady do? She stopped at the red light, then she proceeded to creep forward until half her vehicle was over the limit line. Then without caring that she was breaking the law, this impatient piece of fungus runs the red light….only to stop once again at another red light a couple hundred feet later! At this point, one could dare say that she would’ve ran that red light, too, if it weren’t for cars that were stopped in front of her. One can only wonder how many red lights she’s ran during all the days she’s taken this route to work. There are clearly more than a fair share of screws loose in her head, and it’s only a matter of time before she causes a serious accident on the road. Hell, maybe she already has, but she’s just too stupid to learn from her mistakes.

Classic L.A. Creeping and Leapfrogging

I-95, U-405 — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 05:44:34 +0000

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Let these last few posts be a shout-out to our favorite L.A. classics! Today’s honorable mention is an un-plated, brand new Ford Edge in Sherman Oaks. This toolbag is guilty of creeping and attempted leapfrogging. For those of you new to the site, creeping is when a driver, while stopped at a red light, starts to inch his vehicle forward into the intersection in anticipation of the light turning green. Sure, we’ve all done it, but many drivers in this town love to do it when they attempt to leapfrog other cars in a miniature drag race. Other drivers are so fed up with congestion in Southern California that they subconsciously feel the need to squeeze out every fraction of a second of a green light, as if having their cars in motion just before the light turns green will shave off precious seconds from their commute. Wrong. I’ve seen cars creep until more than half their vehicles are across the limit line or are in the intersection before the light turns green. Alas, L.A. is certainly the capital of the slowest red light runners in the nation. In this particular scenario on Moorpark, the guy in his black Ford Edge cuts out from behind and enters the #2 lane, which was only painted in for less than a hundred feet to allow drivers to make a right turn on red off of Moorpark. Shortly after this intersection, the curvature of the road and a clear sign indicates that all traffic should merge back to the left. Apparently, traveling on a single eastbound lane in very light, pre-rush hour traffic was still too much for this jackass to handle. As the light turned green, the Edge starts to gun it, but then the driver of the Mazda started to gun it, too, knowing full well what this Edge driver was attempting to do. A classic example of how aggression breeds aggression, but in these scenarios, I always blame the initiator–in this case, the impatient, illogical moron in the Edge. The Edge driver was forced to hit his brakes, lest he wanted to rear-end a parked car or hit the curb, and he ended up filing back in line behind me. So essentially, he wasted gas, started a mini-race, and risked a collision all because he felt too self-entitled to drive in a nice straight line like everyone else. Classic, egocentric L.A. mentality….

Blatant Red Light Runner from a Dead Stop

I-95, U-405 — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 03:46:00 +0000

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It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a red light runner this egregious, but after driving alongside this guy in his late 50′s in an older model Ford Explorer for several miles while going south on Sepulveda from the Valley, I figured he was more idiot than asshole. Allow me to elaborate: We were stopped at a red light on Sepulveda, much like what’s shown in this photo. This native (license plate 3UZ, red and beige Explorer with faded flames…yes, flames…painted on the side) was first at the light. We were stopped for several seconds when all of a sudden this mustached douche bag decided to run the red light. He didn’t gun it, he just started to accelerate as if the light changed to green. But alas, it was still red, and you can see the heads of all the other drivers stopped at the light turn and follow this guy, wondering what he was doing. He slowed for a fraction of a second as his rear bumper passed through the center of the intersection, at which point I’m guessing he realized that he just “crept” through a red light but decided to keep going since he’d already gone too far. I haven’t talked about creeping in awhile, but it’s a common habit of a lot of drivers here (in NYC, I really only saw cabbies doing it). Creeping is when you see a car start rolling into the intersection when the light is still red, as if the driver is anticipating when the light will turn green. Creeping makes absolutely no sense to me, since it’s not like you’re giving your car a head start. Is it some strange pet peeve of L.A. drivers that they MUST have their car in motion when the light turns green? I’ve seen creepers go pretty far into an intersection before the light actually changes, but I’ve only seen a handful of creepers actually full-blown run a red light like this tool. A cop would’ve had a field day with this one.

Red Light/Green Light

I-95, U-405 — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 05:50:09 +0000

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Two short submission for you all today, though I do have to give a shout-out to the bitch in the silver Toyota Rav4 today on Riverside in Toluca Lake who glared at us when she passed because we decided to coast to the red light in front of us instead of accelerate and then brake. You’re going nowhere fast, dipstick.

Anyway, this next tale also doesn’t have a photo:

“I know there is nothing funny about texting, but I just had to pass this on. I saw a guy in a Silver Dodge Ram pickup yesterday afternoon going east on Valencia Blvd. texting with both hands and laughing…I dunno which hand was driving.”

People seriously are not getting it in this town, though truthfully it seems to be more of a global phenomenon (did anyone see that UK PSA on texting?). How many close calls do we need to have before we get the message that texting and driving is seriously not OK? I’d hate to be on the receiving end of a texting moron in a pickup who wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. If Dante were alive today, he’d create a specific circle in hell for all the arrogant fuc*nuts who caused fatal car accidents because of texting while driving. Can you believe that it’s still not a moving violation in any state, despite the fact that multiple studies have stated that texting impairs your driving at least as much as alcohol does?

The next submission applies to the above photo:

“Took this one at Beverly and New Hampshire. This SUV first stopped at the limit line when the light went red but then suddenly decided to dart out into the intersection and wait in the middle while other cars were crossing at the moment. As you can see I’m directly behind the limit line (crosswalk) in this photo.”

I see people running red lights all the time, especially when they’re trying to a make a turn on a traffic arrow long after the light has turned red and when they were already well behind the limit line. But this driver took creeping to a whole new level. Newsflash, jackass: You stop for a red light at the limit line, not below the actual light.