L.A. Can't Drive » Brentwood

Illegal Leapfrogging Punk in Chevy HHR

I-95, U-405 — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 06:08:48 +0000

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Sometime last year, the city screwed with the lanes on Wilshire Blvd. by Sepulveda and the 405 Fwy on/off-ramps in Brentwood. Previously, if you were going east toward the freeway in the #1 lane, you had the option of either going straight or making a left to go north on Sepulveda. A green arrow helped to facilitate this turn. Now, in a feeble and naive attempt to reduce traffic congestion, they made the #1 lane a left turn only lane–you see the sign and the fat dotted white lane markings about two hundred yards before the Wilshire/Sepulveda intersection. Let’s be real…this is L.A. Late afternoon/evening rush hour commuters quickly learned that the #1 lane moved faster than all the other eastbound lanes on Wilshire and use it to pass as many cars as possible before changing lanes to their right. Essentially, a mind-numbing bottleneck was created, making traffic even worse in this area. Way to go, councilmembers. Anyway, as annoying as this is for a lot of the other drivers who patiently wait in the #2 lane to go east on Wilshire past the 405, it’s not illegal…unless you pull a selfish, asinine stunt like the punk in this crappy Chevy HHR (license plate 6JPT). Both he and the driver in front of him (not photographed) didn’t switch over from the #1 lane to the #2 lane earlier like most other drivers. In fact, by the time he reached the Sepulveda intersection, he was still in the left turn only lane. This arrogant piece of dessicated gonad then drove his Moby Dick of a vehicle forward, crossed Sepulveda, and ignored yellow hatched lines (that represent a raised concrete median) in front of him before continuing east on Wilshire. Clearly, passing about 100 cars wasn’t good enough for this fu*kwad, and he felt completely entitled to pull a blatantly egocentric and illegal maneuver. If the city really needs to raise some extra cash, they should park some traffic cops by this intersection on a random evening commute. It’ll be like shooting ducks in a barrel.

A Slew of Angry Seniors

I-95, U-405 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 05:01:08 +0000

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I consistently see bad driver patterns come in waves, and this most recent wave consists of selfish, arrogant blue-haired denizens of Los Angeles. Though I wasn’t able to get a photo of it today, I was nearing my Wilshire Blvd West exit on the 405 South today and was in the second to slowest lane on the freeway. I clearly signaled to my right, checked my mirrors and blind spot, and saw that I had ample space to change lanes. As I started changing lanes, this mustached (what’s with jackasses and mustaches these days?), angry old fart in a black Mercedes literally guns it in the slowest freeway lane to prevent me from “cutting” in front. I was like, are you serious? Not only do these arrogant fu*ks not signal, but they also do not respect other drivers who signal. Naturally, he was too far back to have actually succeeded this asinine lane-blocking maneuver. When I get in front of him, he first threatened to rear-end me before yanking his steering wheel to the left. Maybe he was amped on Viagra, but something was seriously wrong with the old kook. He gunned it and passed me on my left, at which time he gave me the best threatening stare he could muster (Mr. Magoo was scarier) and gave me an arthritic finger. Wow…seriously? It’s not like he was exiting, either, as he kept on going south on the freeway. If he was in such a rush, maybe he should drive in the faster lanes to his left…just a suggestion from someone who’s clearly more sane and considerate.

Anyway, I digress, since this post actually has to do with this old couple, selfish couple in this Lexus GS300 (license plate 5HNN) who looked like they died yesterday. Maybe they were in a rush to buy burial cloths in the Valley, but that still doesn’t justify them cutting past a long line of cars on Beverly Glen waiting to make a right turn onto Sunset Blvd. in West L.A. The leapfrogging old wife behind the wheel just erratically cut in front of me and hit her brakes as I was making my way slowly toward the intersection. On a side note, what’s with old people driving these piss-champagne-colored vehicles? It’s like a trend that dates back to the 80′s. You would think these people in their late 30′s and 40′s back then would’ve thought the same thing, but yet here they are driving cars with the same old-people paint job. Anyway, maybe this rise in angry seniors has to do with them feeling that their social security and Medicare entitlements are being threatened. All I got to say is don’t take it out on the other drivers–take it out on your politicians.

No Headlights and Browsing on His Phone in the Rain

I-95, U-405 — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 07:47:32 +0000

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I can’t believe I’m still mentioning this after nearly five years of living here full-time, but people: turn 0n your friggen headlights when your wipers are in motion. Hell, the rain was so bad today that even if you didn’t know that this was a state law since 2005, anyone with half a brain would realize that it was imperative to make one’s car more visible through the dark clouds, freeway mist, and fog by turning on one’s low beam headlights. And yes, just having always-on driving lights don’t count….your taillights need to be lit, too. Then again, this town is filled with uninformed and/or uneducated basket cases like this guy in his 50s in this Dodge SUV who was driving aimlessly around Brentwood on San Vicente by Barrington browsing the web on his smart phone while his vehicle was moving forward. So, not only were his head and taillights not in operation despite a steady downpour of rain, but he also thought it was wise to stare at his phone instead of the road while driving. This town must keep attracting the intellectual dryer lint of America or the idiots already living here just keep on breeding more of the same ilk.

The White Ear Buds Epidemic

I-95, U-405 — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 06:31:27 +0000

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Is it just me, or are we having a serious epidemic of Angelenos driving around with these white ear buds in both their ears? I fault cell phone retailers for not making it known to consumers that it is illegal to drive around with ear buds or headphones in both ears unless you’re hearing impaired. I also blame cops for not enforcing this, though this doesn’t really surprise me. For the most part, cops charged with enforcing driving laws and regulations don’t seem to care about what drivers are doing inside their vehicles, whether it be texting, chatting on a cell phone without a hands-free device, or tuning out the entire world by blasting music into their headphones. This latter point has serious safety drawbacks. Consider how many fewer cars are actually stopping and pulling over for oncoming emergency vehicles. Just today, on two separate occasions, I saw drivers plowing through intersections, making turns, and refusing to pull over for ambulances and firetrucks. Given the increasingly large number of oblivious drivers you see on our roads with these white ear buds jammed in both ears, I wouldn’t be surprised if at least one of these drivers who failed to yield the right-of-way to emergency vehicles resembled this early 20s, gelled out blond kid in a beaten up red Honda Civic (license plate 6DEN). I snapped this photo while waiting at a red light at Sepulveda and Wilshire. To test out my oblivious theory, I sat there with my head completely turned and stared at this kid…the entire time. Yeah, I felt silly doing it and started laughing at one point, but this kid was none the wiser. As if we actually needed to diminish the observation skills of drivers in this town even further….

Inexplicable Aggressive Behavior

I-95, U-405 — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 03:39:54 +0000

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OK, seriously, if you see a driver with vanity plates in Southern California on a car other than a collector’s classic, chances are that driver is an arrogant, aggressive jackass. Of course this generalization doesn’t always apply, but it’s a pretty solid rule of thumb. The road raging, clueless, non-signaling twatbag (brunette, long wavy hair, yellow t-shirt, whorish red lipstick) in this Mercedes E350 is a perfect example of this. Her vanity plate starts with 3 M’s and pretty much indicates that she’s obsessed with wealth. I was in the second to slowest lane on the 405 Fwy S. approaching my exit at Wilshire when this bumper-humping bitch started sucking on my tailpipe out of the blue. Traffic was very light on a random Tuesday at around noon, and still this girl thought it necessary to viciously tailgate while nearly rear-ending me on two separate occasions whenever I slowed down for drivers merging or braking in front of me. Her behavior became even more unexplainable when I neared my exit. Instead of exiting right behind me (as so many impatient, die-hard tailgaters do in the slowest lanes on the freeway), she veered to her left and started tailgating another arbitrary commuter. People like this offend me on so many levels, and though they’re present in any city in this country, they flock like flies to dog sh*t in L.A.

Another Reckless Dumb Punk in a Dented Lemon

I-95, U-405 — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 20:16:34 +0000

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I was digging through the archives found the photo of this red sedan taken on the 405 Fwy S. in Brentwood a couple of months ago. Traffic was moving along at about 60-65 MPH, and this wannabe punk with an afro in his dented shizmobile was weaving indiscriminately between cars without signaling, viciously tailgating (as you can clearly see in this photo), and squeezing his worthless ass between other vehicles in his attempt to Frogger his way through medium traffic as quickly as possible. Some people will unfortunately learn the hard way that driving isn’t a game–you can’t feed in quarters after you use up your one life.

Aggressive Jackass in Dented Unmarked Black Car

I-95, U-405 — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 04:15:39 +0000

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I’m not great with ascertaining the make and model of a car if all markings and logos are removed from the vehicle. However, what I can say is that this punk jackass in this dented black car (license plate 5ZDL) made a left from a side street (which had a stop sign) and pulled directly in front of eastbound traffic going full speed on Sunset in Brentwood. This non-signaling toolbag then merged into westbound traffic by cutting off a Jeep, which had to brake to avoid the collision. Would it really kill people to wait until there’s safe clearance before merging into traffic? My wife just a few days ago saw a really bad accident that was a clear result of faulty merging/lack of clearance/illegal u-turn on Riverside and Woodman. The accident was so bad that one of the vehicles collapsed a bus stop on the southwest corner of that intersection. Well this weaving, erratic, aggressive wanker who refuses to signal–opting to dangle his trollish arm out the window instead–is itching to cause a similar accident on the road. These friggen dumbasses have it coming to them at one point or another, and one can only hope that they don’t take any innocent bystanders down with them when sh*t hits the fan.