L.A. Can't Drive » blind spot

Clueless Grandpa Pulling a Split Second Exit

I-95, U-405 — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 06:47:51 +0000

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The old, borderline senior driving this shizzy Dodge Grand Caravan (license plate 5HYX) is a perfect example of the litany of oblivious driving that complements the aggressive assholes in this town. We were driving on the 101 Fwy N heading toward the 405 Fwy interchange. This clueless fool was pacing us to our left in the slowest 101 through lane (I think it was the #3 lane). The other lanes on the freeway clearly feed into either the 405 Fwy N on S on-ramps–plenty of signs and very clear lane markings. Nonetheless, when the lanes bordering the 405 S on-ramp and the 101 through lane became solid white lines and started diverging, baby boomer here decides to cut over at the very last second directly in front of our bumper. All this was happening during very light, mid-day traffic. There was plenty of time for him to signal his intention and then change lanes to his right, either in front or behind us. Yet for reasons unbeknownst to us, he pulled a stereotypical L.A. maneuver of exiting a through lane (either to an interchange or an exit) at the last possible moment. To this day, I still have no idea why so many drivers–particularly the ones who aren’t overtly aggressive–do this. I mean, seriously, are there really that many drivers mentally checking out from behind the wheel? Plan ahead, gramps….and while you’re at it, check your mirrors and blind spots before changing lanes.

Insane Driving – A Side Effect of the Recent Heatwave

I-95, U-405 — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 05:59:38 +0000

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I have a story to share with all of you from one of our regular readers attached below. But before you read that, I need to share this photo of the lady driving this black, brand new Toyota minivan that we took today coming from the Topanga Plaza Mall. If it looks like she’s just hugging the right side of her lane, in reality it’s a photo of her in the middle of changing lanes. Yes, that’s correct, she was attempting to squeeze her vehicle between the two white cars you see in the photo. The red arrow actually shows her general path of lane-changing, all the while clearly neglecting to check her sideview mirrors and/or blind spots, since she nearly collided into, not one, not two, but three different vehicles in this one sweeping maneuver. She exited shortly after somewhere in Woodland Hills. Personally, I would rather christen a new vehicle with a nice detail job rather than a multi-car collision on the freeway.

Maybe it’s a side effect of the heat wave we had last week, but we’ve been experiencing an inordinately large number of clueless, vapid drivers on the road, even by L.A. standards. Need more proof? Here’s the story I promised:

“I just gotta write to you about today. It was too much. I was off work and am in the process of replacing the interior of my roommate’s car in my free time. But we are doing it on a budget, which means running around town picking up supplies–Lowes, craft store, etc. Craft store didn’t have what we needed, but another store did across town in Valencia, our “Awesometown” so it’s called (I call it Yuppieville due to all the rich self-entitled snobs). As much as I didn’t want to go, the sight of a fresh interior in the ’65 called, so off to Valencia we went. Traffic can’t be too bad at 1pm on a weekday, can it? It didn’t take long before we encountered idiot #1 in the shopping center where craft store #2 is. There was a 2-way stop sign. I stop; road to the left has a stop, but the opposite lane in front of me DOES NOT have a stop. A white car starts coming through, but a female on the phone in a red Altima is going about 10 mph from a side street just rolls right through, almost taking out the white car who is now honking and flipping the Altima off. We are just laughing and watch the Altima cluelessly meander through the lot with her phone still glued to her ear. Coming home (keep in mind this all happens in about 30 minutes), we meet dumb broad #2 in a new Mercedes E350. This was at Creekside Rd. at Valencia Blvd.–there are 3 lanes, 2 are dedicated left turn lanes. I’m in the right of the left turn lanes and she is in the left. We’re just sitting there when this broad all of a sudden makes a RIGHT turn in front of me almost mowing down a pedestrian and, of course, cutting off numerous cars in the process. Ok, we almost made it home when dumb broad #3, female in a new BMW 335i going down Sierra Hwy coming up to Jakes Way, SLOWLY flips a u-turn in front of oncoming traffic and SLOWLY picks up speed. So I wait for traffic to clear and make my turn, and of course, I end up behind her again. Up ahead is a school bus with red lights flashing and that stop sign flipped out and flashing as well. I hit the brakes and slow down, but when I stop, her brake lights go out and she keeps going and AROUND the school bus, almost going head-on into oncoming traffic!! We finally made it home safe and sound, minus a few more hair follicles…… Share it if you want. I seriously wish I got pics but my new phone is hard to do the quick point and shoot thing.”

No worries about the photos. I’ll share any frustrating stories anybody wants to share regarding their driving experiences around town. The third lady in this trilogy of stupidity really takes the cake. She exemplifies the L.A. mentality of so many horrible drivers here of “making one’s own right-of-way”, which is a contradiction in and of itself. This self-entitlement forces other drivers to act defensively in order to avoid collisions with these other arrogant or oblivious assholes who blatantly break the law at every turn. As if her illegal u-turn wasn’t bad enough, but she seriously could’ve hit some kids by swerving around that school bus. Too bad cops almost never see a litany of offenses like that, or else this woman’s license would be suspended almost immediately.

Another Jackass Who Thinks Driving is a Game

I-95, U-405 — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 02:56:51 +0000

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It’s hard to see the circled BMW convertible in this photo, but I had to share. I took this right when the light turned green and this selfish, arrogant piece of cow dung started to leapfrog over cars in the #2 lane by using the unmarked curb lane for parked vehicles. He did this every single friggen time we hit a red light intersection. How do I know this? I kept apace with him just by staying in the #2 lane. It’s like I’ve always said: senseless, aggressive behavior rarely gets you anywhere faster than if you just drove like a normal human being. This toolbag incessantly weaved back and forth between the #1 lane and the curb lane for parked cars without signaling, unapologetically cutting off drivers the entire time we were traveling west on Camarillo/Riverside in N. Hollywood and Studio City. Not once did you see this cocky toerag turn his head to check for clearance, as if it were the responsibility of other drivers to suddenly brake and accommodate his impatient, erratic behavior. And do you know why this town has so many drivers who do this? It’s because law enforcement allows them to get away with it. I don’t understand how a town that will ticket you for jaywalking across an empty intersection at a drop of a hat thinks it’s perfectly acceptable for aggressive assholes to have mini drag races at countless intersections. It’s almost as if deeming something as reckless behavior only applies if the offender isn’t in a vehicle.

Clueless Blind Nerd in Focus

I-95, U-405 — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 02:20:39 +0000

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You’ve heard me talk about the juvenile “gangsta lean” behind the steering wheel. Well, senior citizens also stereotypically have a lean or slant while driving: hunched forward, chin below the shoulders, elbows bent with forearms resting on the horn, and hands grabbing the wheel at 11 and 1. Oh, and let’s not forget the all important “senior squint”. However, the driver of this Ford Focus was not in fact a senior, but rather a kid in his 20′s driving with a “senior slant”. Apparently, he also had the vision of a blue hair since he nearly shaved off my front bumper as he casually drifted in front of me from my right on Moorpark in N. Hollywood when the #2 lane turns into a right-turn-only lane at Vineland. Sure, some people do try to pointlessly leapfrog over as many cars as possible using turn-only lanes as passing lanes, but this nerdy-looking kid with thick glasses probably just couldn’t see where he was going. Not only did he not signal, but he started changing lanes before his car cleared the front wheels of my vehicle–seriously, not OK. Check your mirrors and your blind spot, moron. If you’re too blind to drive, then get off the friggen road.

Infinite Stupidity in Infiniti

I-95, U-405 — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 07:35:08 +0000

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Oh my god, is it just me or are dicks out in full force these last few days? It’s like a bloody sausage fest at the Berlin Love Parade, except without the trance, ecstasy, good friends, and awesome raves. There have been too many close encounters that we don’t have any pictures to show the worst of the offenders. I do have this photo of this toolbag in his early 50′s driving a merlot Infiniti Gx4 SUV on Sepulveda with a 4 license plate (again, likely longtime L.A. resident) in post rush hour traffic. You think this guy traveled this alternate route to the 405 Fwy enough times to know that at the point near the 405 overpass just south of Ventura, the #1 lane turns into a left turn only lane. Even if one did have a lapse of judgment, there are plenty of signs as well as fat, short lane markings that tell you that the lane is ending. It’s called paying attention while you’re driving–such a novel concept for the average Angeleno. What did jackass here do? He didn’t wake up until the very last second when his lane was about to end and started veering his wheel to his right into the #1 through lane…directly toward the front left quarter panel of my brand new car. Not only did this twatbag fail to signal like a typical L.A. native, but he failed to check his mirrors or blind spot. I honked and slammed my brakes to avoid dealing with his insurance company–I have way too much on my hands at the moment to deal with someone else’s stupid sh*t, not to mention I just finished dealing with someone denting our other brand new car just 1 day after we bought it. You would think he learned his lesson, right? Not so. He continued to drift aimlessly from both southbound lanes without signaling, cutting off other drivers and at times driving way too close to the car in front. When I managed to pass this accident waiting to happen near Wilshire, I looked over and saw this clueless pile of compost in a short-sleeved, striped polo shirt with a bland grin on his face that could only be a product of countless hours of playing golf without sunscreen. I wonder how many people in this town continue to repeat their mistakes, taking the reflexes and attentiveness of other drivers for granted.

Bonus Asshole Features for Luxury Vehicles in the L.A. Market

I-95, U-405 — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 04:15:54 +0000

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I never knew this, but apparently if you purchase a Mercedes SLK 280 in Los Angeles, you never have to signal or check your blind spots while changing lanes. The turn signals aren’t really lights, but rather are ultra-realistic decals, allowing you to take full advantage of the driver side door, which is designed to enable you to ergonomically perch your elbow lazily against the window. Consequently, your left hand is free to do absolutely nothing, except to hold the occasional cell phone. We all need our exercise in this pseudo health-conscious town, right? But wait, there’s more! The rearview mirror is equipped with a light-sensitive equilibrium apparatus that automatically disguises the flashing high beams of any vehicle you happen to nearly hit while you choose to change lanes without looking. The noise-cancelling exterior shell is also designed by Bose, insultaing you from the annoying honking coming from humans who are beneath your social status. These internal environmental features allow the self-absorbed, cocky L.A. driver to cruise the street in a purely unapologetic fashion, weaving randomly across several lanes of traffic without the slightest concern for the safety of other drivers. You never have to be bothered by other commuters showing their aggravation at your driving ever again!

Old Starline Tours Bus Driver Steers With Abandon

I-95, U-405 — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 08:43:15 +0000

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The disclaimer with this photo is that it was taken in Orange County right before you enter the parking lots to Disneyland. When we exited the off-ramp from the 5 Fwy, we entered the first of 2 (or 3) left turn lanes. While we were making our left turn, this old curmudgeon driving a Starline Tours bus to our right was also making a left turn, but he chose to cross over the solid white line that separated our turning lanes and nearly collided into our vehicle–no signal. Then as we proceeded straight toward the Disney parking lot, this guy yanks his wheel back to the right–again, no signal–in front of another driver. Seriously, man, pick a lane and stay there, especially since it’s apparent that you don’t check your mirrors or blind spots. He would be exactly where he is in this photo if he hadn’t nearly hit our car to begin with when we made our left turns. As we drove by him, I saw a bored, grumpy old man staring out his window. Hey, I’m sorry the recession tanked your retirement portfolio, forcing you to go back to work; but if you don’t like this job, you can always try flipping burgers. At least there, you’re only likely to burn yourself rather than hurt others by ramming a company bus into their sedan.