L.A. Can't Drive

Rainy, Nighttime Freeway Driving Without Headlights

I-95, U-405 — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 01:28:10 +0000

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We took this photo this past Saturday down in Long Beach. It was a chilly, cloudy, rainy day, so we figured it would be nice to take the little one down to the Long Beach Aquarium for the first time. It was raining pretty steadily as we were coming back in the early evening, at which time we encountered two different drivers a minute apart driving around in the dark and rain without any car lights on. The first was an old Ford pickup (I’m trying to find the photo) and the second was this sedan (Honda Accord, I think), driving on the 710 Fwy N. The driver of the sedan was this young punk in his 20’s with that stupid wannabe gangsta lean behind the wheel. According to my wife, he looked stoned, as well. Needless to say, we kept a wide berth from this guy the best we could. I seriously have no idea why we have so many jacked-up morons on our roads; you would think that people would know better in a car culture town. There’s absolutely no good excuse why anyone should be driving at night in the rain on the freeway without any head or tail lights on, yet here we have two fine examples of L.A. brilliance within a mile of each other.

Lady in Lexus Runs Red and Almost Causes Collision

I-95, U-405 — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 07:03:40 +0000

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Here’s another typical L.A. driver with an unchecked sense of entitlement. I was waiting behind her in the left turn only lane on Barrington, just north of Wilshire in Brentwood. There are no green arrows at this intersection, which is a whole other problem we can discuss at length at another time. As the traffic lights for our direction of travel turned yellow, she was stopped well behind the limit line and behind a couple of other cars that were in the intersection waiting to make a left. By the time the two cars in front of her cleared, the traffic lights turned to red. This selfish biatch then proceeds to run the red and slowly steer her Lexus into the intersection a good 3 seconds after the light turned red and nearly collides with a few eastbound cars on Wilshire. Listen, moron, you can’t just play chicken with your car and assume that other drivers are going to brake before hitting you, especially when you pull such blatantly arrogant stunts like this.

Ignoring Signs and Nearly Hitting Me in the Process

I-95, U-405 — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 06:48:50 +0000

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The old borderline senior citizen driving this VW Passat perfectly illustrated why it sucks to drive in this town. I took this photo at the Trader Joe’s in Toluca Lake. First of all, the fairly small parking lot was about half empty, so this lady should have been content with that fact alone. Instead, she hurriedly steers her car through the gates that clearly state exit only (as do markings on the pavement) and nearly hits me in the process as I was walking to my car with my groceries. The kicker is that she had the gall to give me a dirty, exasperated look, as if I did something wrong. OK, menopausal bitch, is it too hard to drive another 30 feet and enter where you’re supposed to? Newsflash: yield to pedestrians and obey signs that direct traffic flow. Not a difficult concept, people…that is unless you’re a stereotypical egocentric Angeleno who doesn’t give a frack about anyone else and who feels completely entitled to dismiss the law at will whenever it suits you. This town is filled with jackholes like this–transplants and born and bred vermin alike.

Tailgating Jeep on Pico Backs Off When Recorded

I-95, U-405 — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 03:30:59 +0000

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Here’s a video I received from one of our regulars:

“Here is a video of a woman in a Jeep who was tailgating me. I drive a small, fuel-efficient car and I feel that I get bullied a lot by the big guys. Strangely, it is often women driving big tanks who tailgate. I think the camera makes me safer. At least I am paying attention to what is going on. And often when these tailgaters see the camera, they back off. It beats getting rear-ended. This woman got right on my tail, and as you can see, the other lane was empty, but she persisted in bumper-humping me until I picked up my cellphone camera. This was on my usual commute to downtown, I think on Pico.”

Although I’m a firm believer that slower traffic should stay to the right, this particular scenario occurred on a local road with 2 lanes going in each direction–not on a freeway. Would it have killed this lady to change lanes to her right to pass? For all she knew, the person who submitted this post could have been making a left turn a couple blocks farther down the road. Anyway, I’ve been known to whip out my cell phone camera as a deterrent even when I’m simply crossing the street in a pedestrian crosswalk, since more drivers actually do seem to notice you and follow the rules if they think they’re being caught on camera; looking after oneself is human nature, after all. But then again you have those illogical, aggressive drivers–like those who speed and weave in and out of lanes in the rain on the freeway without their headlights on–who don’t seem evolved enough to grasp that basic concept of self-preservation.

Aggressive Smoking Insecure Punk in Mustang

I-95, U-405 — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 03:44:59 +0000

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This past weekend, a friend of mine got plowed by a speeding jackass in an Audi who ran a red light in N. Hollywood (Cahuenga and Camarillo). Unfortunately, he may get screwed since he was clearing the intersection as the light turned from yellow to red while making a left turn, despite the testimony of an independent witness who clearly saw the Audi speeding and running the red. I see more people accelerating at yellow lights rather than slowing down in L.A. than in any other city I’ve driven. If people in the northeast typically gun a left ahead of through traffic right after a light changes from red to green, than people in Southern California typically treat yellow lights as cues to gun the engine.

Needless to say, Audi drivers have long replaced Mustang drivers as top road assholes in my book. But I would be remiss not to shine a spotlight on this cigarette-smoking punk in a beaten up black Mustang (license plate 3WUR) in Sherman Oaks. I was coming north on Beverly Glen/Tyrone, crossed Ventura, and entered a right turn only lane onto Moorpark, which then feeds into a lane that ends in a couple hundred feet. As I signaled to my left to merge over to the single eastbound through lane, I saw this pathetic aggressive toolbag in my sideview mirror gun it from way behind, veer slightly into the center left turn lane to complete his lane-blocking maneuver, and then cut in front. Now I’ll be the first to say that the responsibility to merge safely from one road onto the next lies primarily on the one who’s merging. But seriously, did this turd honestly feel the need to burn a quart of gas just to sit one car closer to his destination? And like the driver in the last post, this guy floored it on every few feet of empty road only to brake a few feet later before proceeding to tailgate the next car in front. Clearly someone is trying to look cool and intimidating on the road. Call it my NY mentality, but a car is made for me to get from point A to point B…that’s it. Keep the posturing and pathetic ego-boosting off the road.

Pathetic, Aggressive Toolbag in Crappy Honda

I-95, U-405 — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 07:30:19 +0000

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I’m always at a loss at the end of the Winter Olympics…so much to watch, so little time. Anyway, I suppose it’s time to do my taxes now. Now I don’t recall what was going on with the white sedan at the edge of the photo to the right, though I do remember quite clearly what the wannabe with the toolish gangsta lean behind the wheel of a shizzy maroon Honda was doing in Studio City. By the way, who was the moron who thought it would be cool to pose in the driver’s seat slanting 30 degrees to one side while steering with the bottom of his wrist set firmly at 12 o’clock on the wheel? I was traveling on Riverside when this jackass came up from my left out of nowhere and cut right in front, nearly shaving off my front bumper–no signal, of course. I then proceeded to see this aggressive assturd weaving back and forth between both lanes, gunning it at every 20 feet of empty road he encountered. He would then hit the brakes just short of rear-ending the next car in front. Traffic was light, and it wasn’t rush hour; one can only assume that here is another small-dicked piece of filth who thinks driving is a game. His incessant weaving, erratic speeding, and heavy braking got him nowhere, as I was able to get a good look at this fool at a red light several blocks down the road. All I gotta say is sometimes you really can judge a book by its cover.

41 Ticketed in an Hour in Cell Phone Sting

I-95, U-405 — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 06:40:15 +0000

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One of our regular contributors sent me this photo of a hands-free cell phone violator the other day. Maybe law enforcement in other parts of L.A. needs to do more cell phone stings like the one that occurred in Torrance a couple weeks ago–41 people ticketed for cell phone violations in a single hour. On the other hand, I don’t know how many of you saw this at the end of last month, but a new study by the Highway Loss Data Institute shows bans prohibiting handheld cell phone use while driving do not reduce the number of crashes. The findings are disputed by the California Highway Patrol, which has issued more than 231,000 tickets since the law went into effect in this state. I don’t know about you, but I constantly see officers ignoring cell phone violators on a regular basis. Whether or not you think hands-free cell phone laws have an impact on road safety is irrelevant. It’s the law, and as a result obeying it is not up for debate, though I’m sure plenty of egocentric, stubborn Angelenos will argue this point. However, it would be interesting to see if there is a statistically significant drop in crashes if law enforcement did a better job with ticketing violators. I also think we should jack up the fine and make the infraction a moving violation, adding a point to your license for each offense. But then again, that’s just me….