Comments for L.A. Can't Drive http://www.lacantdrive.com Los Angeles drivers can't drive. Plain and simple. Basic traffic laws and driving etiquette clearly do not apply in a town where the people seem to operate in their own little bubble, completely unaware or dismissive of others on the road. Call it what you will: self-entitlement, negligence, malaise, ignorance. My goal? To have mandatory driving tests randomly issued where drivers are eligible for selection after 6 years. Consider this jury duty for the road. Wed, 23 Jul 2008 18:20:21 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 Comment on Maroon Ghost Rider in Glendale by Rikki http://www.lacantdrive.com/2008/07/21/maroon-ghost-rider-in-glendale/#comment-1516 Rikki Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:56:30 +0000 http://www.lacantdrive.com/?p=654#comment-1516 There must be something about the brightness of downtown Glendale that brings these idiots out. My Mom and I attended the massive car show last Saturday night in Downtown Glendale. When we left around 11:00, there were at least 3 cars that we saw going down Central Avenue with their lights off. These weren't show cars either...these were regular yahoos there for the festivities. Cops everywhere, but not one of these morons was pulled over. We got on the 134 West at Central to go to Pacific Ave. and there was a guy in a small SUV that didn't actually turn his lights on until we got off at Pacific (OMG, he was going the same way we were). That makes me nervous. Don't these idiots realize how dark the dash is at night? I would find this to be the first clue for the clueless. I'm guessing that those that forget to turn their lights on are usually drunk and don't realize it. All the more reason for the cops to pull them over! I have a newer car that turns the lights on automatically. Kinda scary, but I guess the makers of Saturn are realizing that we can't even wipe our own butts anymore, so our cars have to remember everything for us. There must be something about the brightness of downtown Glendale that brings these idiots out. My Mom and I attended the massive car show last Saturday night in Downtown Glendale. When we left around 11:00, there were at least 3 cars that we saw going down Central Avenue with their lights off. These weren’t show cars either…these were regular yahoos there for the festivities. Cops everywhere, but not one of these morons was pulled over. We got on the 134 West at Central to go to Pacific Ave. and there was a guy in a small SUV that didn’t actually turn his lights on until we got off at Pacific (OMG, he was going the same way we were). That makes me nervous. Don’t these idiots realize how dark the dash is at night? I would find this to be the first clue for the clueless. I’m guessing that those that forget to turn their lights on are usually drunk and don’t realize it. All the more reason for the cops to pull them over!

I have a newer car that turns the lights on automatically. Kinda scary, but I guess the makers of Saturn are realizing that we can’t even wipe our own butts anymore, so our cars have to remember everything for us.

]]> Comment on Sexually Frustrated Tailgater on I-5 by Ed H http://www.lacantdrive.com/2008/07/11/sexually-frustrated-tailgater-on-i-5/#comment-1509 Ed H Mon, 21 Jul 2008 07:43:27 +0000 http://www.lacantdrive.com/?p=632#comment-1509 People don't pull over for emergency vehicles, what makes you think they're gonna move for someone flashing their lights? People are sooo ignorant in this town it ain't funny. People don’t pull over for emergency vehicles, what makes you think they’re gonna move for someone flashing their lights? People are sooo ignorant in this town it ain’t funny.

]]> Comment on Psycho Needs to be Permanently Removed from Streets by Ed H http://www.lacantdrive.com/2008/07/20/psycho-needs-to-be-permanently-removed-from-streets/#comment-1508 Ed H Mon, 21 Jul 2008 07:39:51 +0000 http://www.lacantdrive.com/?p=651#comment-1508 I can't wait to move outta this town reasons for people like this. 2 more years if I can just keep it together for 2 more years. Then I transfer up north. Way up north. To a small town, population about 12,000. Born and raised in the Santa Clarita Valley, used to be proud of it as well............. I can’t wait to move outta this town reasons for people like this. 2 more years if I can just keep it together for 2 more years. Then I transfer up north. Way up north. To a small town, population about 12,000. Born and raised in the Santa Clarita Valley, used to be proud of it as well………….

]]> Comment on Sexually Frustrated Tailgater on I-5 by I-95, U-405 http://www.lacantdrive.com/2008/07/11/sexually-frustrated-tailgater-on-i-5/#comment-1489 I-95, U-405 Wed, 16 Jul 2008 06:18:15 +0000 http://www.lacantdrive.com/?p=632#comment-1489 The irony is if he just behaved like a civilized human being without flashing his lights and honking at you to begin with, he could've been well on his way. By the way, I heard that in California, it is legal to flash your lights and beep your horn in the #1 fast lane of highway travel ONLY in case of emergency (ie. someone is dying or going into labor in the backseat, etc.). It is also mandatory for cars to change lanes to the right to allow this car to pass. I've been hesitant about posting this in an actual post in case there are some assholes out there who get the bright idea to abuse this provision. The irony is if he just behaved like a civilized human being without flashing his lights and honking at you to begin with, he could’ve been well on his way.

By the way, I heard that in California, it is legal to flash your lights and beep your horn in the #1 fast lane of highway travel ONLY in case of emergency (ie. someone is dying or going into labor in the backseat, etc.). It is also mandatory for cars to change lanes to the right to allow this car to pass. I’ve been hesitant about posting this in an actual post in case there are some assholes out there who get the bright idea to abuse this provision.

]]> Comment on Sexually Frustrated Tailgater on I-5 by Judd Wiley http://www.lacantdrive.com/2008/07/11/sexually-frustrated-tailgater-on-i-5/#comment-1487 Judd Wiley Wed, 16 Jul 2008 01:47:01 +0000 http://www.lacantdrive.com/?p=632#comment-1487 I love the phrase "bumper hump." This has just been added to my vernacular. Here's a story for you. My friend and I were driving back from a Pennsylvania a few months ago, on a Sunday afternoon. We were driving on the main highway from Pennsylvania to Virginia. The road was basically empty, except for a few cars and trucks. As we're passing this big tractor trailer, all of a sudden there's a black Mercedes right on our ass, honking and flashing his lights and shit. I mean, literally 5 inches from my asshole. We're in a Jeep Grand Cherokee. We had both gotten back from Iraq and were in no mood for some random fuckface in a Mercedes. So what did we do? We pulled possibly the longest Mexican roadblock ever. We stayed flush with the tractor trailer truck for about 30 minutes. Every now and then we'd do the thing where you speed up slightly, get even with the cab, and then slow down so that the truck almost passes you on the right. We basically ruined this guys afternoon. 30 minutes. He was swerving back and forth trying to get around us. But we made sure that we blocked him every time. Finally, we passed the truck, and merged into the left lane. The Mercedes shot by us, and it's some rich middle aged asshole and his wife/girlfriend yelling and shaking his fist at us and gleefully showing us his iPhone, as if to warn us that he'd videotaped our Mexican road block action and was about to report us to the cops. So we decided to fuck with this asshole some more. We followed him all the way home, staying 4 car lengths behind him. Everytime he merged, we'd merge. Everytime he sped up, we'd speed up. We basically spent 3 hours teaching this guy a lesson, all the while never breaking the rules of the road. Lots of fun. Tailgaters suck. And we never got in trouble. I love the phrase “bumper hump.” This has just been added to my vernacular.

Here’s a story for you. My friend and I were driving back from a Pennsylvania a few months ago, on a Sunday afternoon. We were driving on the main highway from Pennsylvania to Virginia. The road was basically empty, except for a few cars and trucks. As we’re passing this big tractor trailer, all of a sudden there’s a black Mercedes right on our ass, honking and flashing his lights and shit. I mean, literally 5 inches from my asshole. We’re in a Jeep Grand Cherokee. We had both gotten back from Iraq and were in no mood for some random fuckface in a Mercedes. So what did we do? We pulled possibly the longest Mexican roadblock ever. We stayed flush with the tractor trailer truck for about 30 minutes. Every now and then we’d do the thing where you speed up slightly, get even with the cab, and then slow down so that the truck almost passes you on the right. We basically ruined this guys afternoon. 30 minutes. He was swerving back and forth trying to get around us. But we made sure that we blocked him every time. Finally, we passed the truck, and merged into the left lane. The Mercedes shot by us, and it’s some rich middle aged asshole and his wife/girlfriend yelling and shaking his fist at us and gleefully showing us his iPhone, as if to warn us that he’d videotaped our Mexican road block action and was about to report us to the cops. So we decided to fuck with this asshole some more. We followed him all the way home, staying 4 car lengths behind him. Everytime he merged, we’d merge. Everytime he sped up, we’d speed up. We basically spent 3 hours teaching this guy a lesson, all the while never breaking the rules of the road. Lots of fun. Tailgaters suck. And we never got in trouble.

]]> Comment on Argumentative Clueless Crone by Rikki http://www.lacantdrive.com/2008/07/14/argumentative-clueless-crone/#comment-1483 Rikki Tue, 15 Jul 2008 15:07:54 +0000 http://www.lacantdrive.com/?p=638#comment-1483 My day is now complete. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants...(oh no! Time for "Depends") And Mike, I love the "adjectives". Will certainly add them to my list. I look forward to these postings everyday...and maybe it's no consolation to you guys, but I am feeling these same feelings, so I know that I am not alone in encountering these ass wads on the roads here in Santa Clarita almost every day. Almost got the drivers door taken off this morning while exiting my car because some ass wipe decided to add an extra lane of his own in 1 wide lane. My day is now complete. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants…(oh no! Time for “Depends”)
And Mike, I love the “adjectives”. Will certainly add them to my list. I look forward to these postings everyday…and maybe it’s no consolation to you guys, but I am feeling these same feelings, so I know that I am not alone in encountering these ass wads on the roads here in Santa Clarita almost every day.

Almost got the drivers door taken off this morning while exiting my car because some ass wipe decided to add an extra lane of his own in 1 wide lane.

]]> Comment on Argumentative Clueless Crone by Ken http://www.lacantdrive.com/2008/07/14/argumentative-clueless-crone/#comment-1481 Ken Tue, 15 Jul 2008 07:56:27 +0000 http://www.lacantdrive.com/?p=638#comment-1481 HAHAHAHA how's that for random driving test selecting? :) Or better yet, put that for all new drivers too, I don't read/understand french, But let me know if it translates differently. HAHAHAHA how’s that for random driving test selecting? :) Or better yet, put that for all new drivers too, I don’t read/understand french, But let me know if it translates differently.

]]> Comment on Argumentative Clueless Crone by I-95, U-405 http://www.lacantdrive.com/2008/07/14/argumentative-clueless-crone/#comment-1480 I-95, U-405 Tue, 15 Jul 2008 07:21:37 +0000 http://www.lacantdrive.com/?p=638#comment-1480 Ken, for some reason, I got a kick out of the French subtitles. Ken, for some reason, I got a kick out of the French subtitles.

]]> Comment on Argumentative Clueless Crone by Ken http://www.lacantdrive.com/2008/07/14/argumentative-clueless-crone/#comment-1479 Ken Tue, 15 Jul 2008 07:12:10 +0000 http://www.lacantdrive.com/?p=638#comment-1479 This is how we should be doing our driving test from now on. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yg1kCl8gFYk This is how we should be doing our driving test from now on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yg1kCl8gFYk

]]> Comment on Moronic Merging Mishaps by I-95, U-405 http://www.lacantdrive.com/2008/07/13/moronic-merging-mishaps/#comment-1477 I-95, U-405 Mon, 14 Jul 2008 17:10:26 +0000 http://www.lacantdrive.com/?p=636#comment-1477 That also is a problem I see happen way too often here. What's with the speeding up to prevent people from "cutting" into "your" lane? Based on conversations I've had, many drivers here (local and transplants alike) don't signal or signal at the very last second for lane changes because they're wary of other drivers accelerating to prevent them for switching lanes. There's no place for ego when you're behind the wheel, people. Save it for the tracks. That also is a problem I see happen way too often here. What’s with the speeding up to prevent people from “cutting” into “your” lane? Based on conversations I’ve had, many drivers here (local and transplants alike) don’t signal or signal at the very last second for lane changes because they’re wary of other drivers accelerating to prevent them for switching lanes. There’s no place for ego when you’re behind the wheel, people. Save it for the tracks.

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