L.A. Can't Drive

Idiocy Meter

Asshole Meter

Some people just never learn.  This tool in his late 50′s driving an old, tan BMW 535i with a license plate starting with a “1″ probably falls into the category of a true born and raised Angeleno native.  Yet for some reason, after all these years, he still doesn’t understand the concept of merging freeway traffic.  He was driving in the #5, slowest, lane of traffic when we approached the on-ramp for cars merging onto the 101 Fwy from Coldwater Canyon.  Instead of negotiating his speed to coordinate with merging traffic, this unkempt, frazzled idiot chose to steer his car directly in front of mine (less than 6′ at 65 mph), without signaling (which is very typical of long-time L.A. natives), and then slams on his brakes to avoid hitting the car transport trailer that was now directly in front of him.  Hey, jerkoff, signaling aside…how about checking for clearance before changing lanes?  Ever heard of mirrors or blind spots?  Maybe he should just stay away from the slowest lane of traffic if he doesn’t want to have to deal with the “complexities” of merging.  Apparently, when he first got his license here, there was about 1 car for every acre of road space, and his heat-stroked brain couldn’t keep up with the changing times.  Naturally, I blared my horn at him while hitting my brakes to avoid rear-ending this dicklet, who just kept his left arm dangling outside his window instead of using it to signal or maintain better control of his vehicle (such novel concepts, I know).  This guy actually looked like he was living out of his car, given all the junk I saw piled in the back seats when I drove next to him, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he couldn’t see past his hanging shirts to see his blind spots anyway.  As if nearly causing a multi-vehicle collision on the freeway weren’t bad enough, I saw this clueless idiot do this again to another driver–again, without signaling or even turning his head to check for clearance.  Allowing people like this to drive on our roads is analagous to selling guns to anyone who walks into a store without performing any background checks.  So many people in this town need to wake up and realize that they’re essentially navigating loaded weapons on our streets.  Ironically enough, the only thing that’ll probably remind this guy of his responsibilities as a driver is an accident that’ll cause him to lose the ability to drive.

Filed under: car lights, clueless, observation