L.A. Can't Drive » Stopping Dead on the Freeway while Changing Lanes

Stopping Dead on the Freeway while Changing Lanes

Idiocy Meter
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Asshole Meter
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As a lot of you already know, the reason why I have Asshole and Idiocy meters is because the bulk of bad drivers in L.A. are either raging dicks or pathetic morons.  Here’s one thing that drivers in both categories fiercely have in common: they act as if no one is driving behind them.  Case in point, here’s a retard in a Ford E350 van going west on the 101 Fwy near the I-405 interchange.  Well, instead of moving steadily with the flow of traffic until he found a safe point to merge, this guy decided to brake to a dead stop in the #4 lane of traffic until he could find a place to merge to his right to transfer to the 405 Fwy.  First of all, there are plenty of signs that give drivers who wish to merge onto the 405 more than enough notice to change lanes to the right on the freeway.  All too often, though, you either have imbeciles like this tool or egocentric fu*kheads who don’t want to wait patiently with the rest of traffic and try to squeeze their vehicles over to the right at the very last second.  And mind you, stopping in the middle of a freeway through lane is not uncommon in L.A. It’s pathetic because it’s true.  Whether it’s an arrogant asshole or a full-fledged moron, these pieces of fungi exponentially increase traffic congestion by acting as mobile road blocks until they complete a lane change they could’ve done earlier if they were either more alert or not selfish pricks.  This guy was both because he had plenty of opportunities to merge over, including in front of our vehicle, but just chose not to because he had no idea how large his vehicle was and didn’t think he had the clearance (a very typical L.A. problem of people driving vehicles way too large for their abilities of perception); rather, he chose to make everyone behind him wait, not once but twice, as he performed his dumbass road-blocking maneuver again when he tried to get to the 405-N-only lane.  We couldn’t believe that he was pulling this stunt again that we honked at him to move his egocentric ass forward while merging.  He just looked at us completely perplexed in his sideview mirror.  This brings up yet another problem with bad L.A. drivers–they often don’t know that they’re in the wrong.  I’m sorry, but do people in this town have a difficult time walking across the street while chewing gum?  You keep your car moving forward while you’re merging, changing lanes, whatever….if multi-tasking behind the wheel is too much for you to handle, then take mass transit instead.  But if you’re one of those vagoids who choose to cut into traffic at the very last minute while holding up traffic in the freeway through lane, then nothing I write is going to make an impact in your thick head, so you can just kiss my righteous ass.

2 Responses to “Stopping Dead on the Freeway while Changing Lanes”

  1. I am searching about why people in Socal change lanes in fast traffic without speeding up to match the pace of the faster lane they just HAD to be in, and I found your site. It’s not just LA but most of Socal that does the dead stop merge. They also will change lanes from a dead stop and not floor it. It happened to me a couple of hours ago that I had to slam on the brakes for a dead stop lane change but wasn’t going to make it and had to swerve dangerously…. THANKFULLY the shoulder was there or I would have plowed into them.


    I notice most of Socal comes up on slow traffic, and instead of
    maintaining speed, signal, check blind spot, safely change and keep going, intead they slow to the traffic ahead, react, see “Oh someone is coming, I’d better jump out now!” And acting like they could not see the slower traffic with GLARING obviousness they react dangerously or selfishly and change right in front of oncoming cars. But they don’t speed back up much… If they do at all. They could have waited for you to go first, but they don’t and then act like YOU are the jerk for having to come up on them fast and slow down.

    And now half of them are on phones.

  2. Get in car! Take deep breath! Chant Mantra: “They are trying to kill me. I will not let them!” “They are trying to kill me; I will not let them!” “They are trying to kill me; I will not let them!”
    I then proceed to my destination vowing to adapt, to improvise, to stop, to go, to brake, to swerve, to signal, to turn, to chill. So far no tickets, no accidents and most importantly no encounters with enraged motorists (killers?). Mutter, grumble, count to ten, keep fingers, gestures and verbalizations to yourself, be courteous expecting nothing in return. Follow these suggestions and the next time someone cuts you off, tailgates, fails to let you merge or change lanes, passes you on the shoulder or flips you the finger. Catch up to that no good SOB and at the first opportunity get out of the car and beat the crap out of him/her and their children, grandmother and whoever else is around; it’s the American way! Show those idiots how stupid they are!!! Show them the error of their ways!

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