L.A. Can't Drive

Idiocy Meter

Asshole Meter

Since we live in more or less a one industry town, at least by reputation, eye candy isn’t hard to find.  This fact is not lost on my friends who love to people-watch when they fly in to visit.  However, their sentiments hold little weight since I find vapid shells of arrogance and conceit, no matter how physically appealing, quite unattractive.  Now I’m not saying that physically attractive, smart women with substance don’t exist in this town.  But I truly do believe that they’re harder to find than in some other big cities or sprawling suburbs, especially with the constant influx of shallow transplants with delusional dreams of wealth, fame, and grandeur.  But if you’re just looking to date around and not settle down, then you can certainly have your pick of the litter in L.A. I wouldn’t be surprised if the brunette driving her new Toyota Matrix was on the market.  With the behavior and attitude she was exhibiting behind the wheel, I would bet that her looks would get old very fast.  As commuters were heading home from Beverly Hills during rush hour, this prissy little queen with a lead foot was drifting aimlessly between the 2 northbound lanes of Beverly Dr., impatiently gauging which lane was moving faster while simultaneously preventing any drivers from passing.  Naturally, she wasn’t signaling, for the cigarette she was holding in her left hand was much more important to her than being considerate.  As I pulled up next to her at a stop sign, I saw what I thought I’d see: a stuck up, young woman with oversized sunglasses, sucking on a cigarette while smacking on a piece of gum like a cow chewing on cud.  By the way, smoking cigarettes while chewing on gum is probably not the best idea if you want to avoid staining your teeth–oh, and did I mention an increased chance of developing mouth cancer?  Regardless, I didn’t get a very good look at the driver because she barely even slowed down for the stop sign….in fact, she blew right through it, completely ignoring the right-of-way of other drivers.  It seems like there’s this unwritten law among assholes in L.A. that states that stopping and yielding at stop signs is a sign of weakness.  Adding insult upon injury, she was tailgating the driver in front of her the entire trip north through Coldwater Canyon, nearly rear-ending the other car on several occasions when traffic stopped abruptly.

Filed under: aggressive, car lights, tailgating