L.A. Can't Drive

Idiocy Meter

Asshole Meter

So I experienced my first California earthquake yesterday, or at least it was the first one I felt where I was awake. Before I continue with some reader submissions, it’s important to note that there is a theory on earthquake safety called the “void theory” or “triangle of life”. According to the American Red Cross, practicing this theory is not safe in the United States. Read more about this rebuttal here. In short, this theory was developed in Turkey, where construction standards, engineering principles, and construction materials are very different than those used in the United States. Both FEMA and and the American Red Cross recommend these safety precautions for earthquakes. Also note that it is a bad idea to take cover in door frames during an earthquake. The American Red Cross has not recommended use of a doorway for earthquake protection for more than a decade. The problem is that many doorways are not built into the structural integrity of a building, and may not offer protection. Also, simply put, doorways are not suitable for more than one person at a time.

Now enough about that. Here’s a “shout-out” from a reader regarding something that happened on the road yesterday (pre-quake):

“This goes out to the b*tch in the black Dodge Avenger that bumper-humped my poor Honda all the way down Valle del Oro in Newhall at 7:00 this morning. Next time buy my car an oil change or something before attempting to get that intimate. Oh, and congratulations on getting to your destination 10 seconds before I passed you. Getting there in one piece in itself is an accomplishment. No pictures of this tool, but none are necessary. Geez, I hope this little stunt of a-hole driving was enough to make her panties wet…it did absolutely nothing for me, but prompt me to write this post.”

The last sentence just killed me, so I had to share. As for the photo of the city bus above:

“A picture is worth a thousand words, right? I got stuck behind this Metro Rapid bus yesterday going north on Van Nuys Blvd . in Van Nuys taking up 2 lanes when I was coming back from taking my friend to the Dodge dealer to pick up his new Challenger (which is a beeeeauteeeful car btw). Anyway, I used to drive 18 wheelers so I kinda have a knowledge of how to drive something like this, but to be doing what this fellow did for about 2 miles with no other traffic around around??”

I must say that something like this has happened to me a few times, though I was directly to the left of the bus and nearly got my sideview mirror clipped off. Unfortunately, it’s more common that I see impatient muni bus drivers recklessly passing cars before cutting right back in front and slamming on their brakes. The fact that these public servants feel the need to pass anything other than stationary obstructions on the road just baffles me.

Filed under: aggressive, cell phone, observation, tailgating