L.A. Can't Drive

Idiocy Meter

Asshole Meter

Wow, the idiots out today! Seriously, it boggles my mind why so many drivers just can’t grasp that others drivers share the road with them. I was coming back from a class I was taking in Beverly Hills, driving north on Beverly Dr. just south of Wilshire, and this tool in front of me with a mustache that would make Borat blush was driving at about 10 mph perfectly straddling both northbound lanes. I sh*t you not, the dotted white line bisected his car perfectly for about a good block. The driver in the car to my left and I honked at the same time, basically telling this guy to wake the fu*k up. If you’re lost, looking at street addresses, or don’t know if you need to make an eventual left or right turn, either pull over or stay in the right lane (signaling to the right if you’re going significantly slower than the flow of traffic). But don’t expand across two lanes of traffic at a snail’s pace. Again, what is going on in that mass he pathetically calls a brain? In fact, my wife and I alone encountered about 5 instances of this already today, and it’s not even 7:30 yet. I can only imagine what the driving will be like tonight when “evwything goeth all dawrk and thpooky….”

This clueless jackhole in the Ford Taurus above got confused going east on Riverside when Riverside becomes Camarillo if you go straight, just after the freeway overpass. While she was trying to get her bearings in the #1 through lane, she slowly applied pressure on her brakes as we approached the intersection where the traffic light had actually just turned green for our direction of travel. Um, green means go, not brake to a complete standstill for no intelligible reason. Vehicles quickly started piling up behind us when I finally had to honk (yet again) to remind this amoeba that there were actually other cars behind her–imagine that!

I’ve said it recently, and I’ll say it again: making others pay for their dumb mistakes is unfortunately a common occurrence in Los Angeles. The only difference with the drivers I’ve seen today is that they all seemed to be clueless dimwits–rather than arrogant, stubborn pricks–who have no idea how to check their mirrors or process the traffic around them. Will it really kill you to pull over people? What happens if you miss your turn? Oh no! Ever heard about doubling-back or even going around the block? Honestly, if you didn’t get a decent education, at least try to cultivate some common sense. Then again, I’m probably preaching to the choir….

Filed under: clueless, observation