L.A. Can't Drive

Idiocy Meter

Asshole Meter

So I’m walking to my car to see if my tires have been marked for a potential 2-hour parking violation in Beverly Hills down that narrow one-way alley where I work.  As many of you already know, this alley (just south of S. Santa Monica) has been the source of quite a few posts on this blog.  For those of you who don’t know, there are clear “one way” signs posted at both ends of the alley as well as on the walls of several buildings along the entire stretch.  There are also white arrows painted on the pavement every 20 feet indicating one way traffic.  However, given the number of one-way violations I’ve already seen on this strip of pavement, I never walk anywhere close to the center of this alley (unlike many kids who attend Beverly Hills High).  It’s a good thing I kept to this pattern today, because this old geazer with a bushy white mustache came barreling around the corner at top speed entering the alley the wrong way.  In fact, if I were in a car traveling at only 15 mph, there is no doubt in my mind that we would have had a head-on collision.  This senile fu*ker in his white Dodge Grand Caravan nearly hits me as he hits his breaks and veers to his left as I scramble out of the way.  I snapped this photo as I was walking back from my car.  Seriously, would it kill him to drive around the block and enter the alley from the correct–safe–direction?  The city didn’t just make this alley one way to inconvenience egocentric Los Angelenos.  Now it’s bad enough to ignore “one way” and “do not enter” signs, but to do so while speeding around a blind corner is just amoebic stupidity.  Listen, buddy, from the looks of it, it doesn’t look like you have too many years to go.  If living is too painful, try to kill yourself without taking others along for the ride across the river Styx.

Filed under: aggressive, observation, senior, speeding