L.A. Can't Drive

Idiocy Meter

Asshole Meter

I could totally relate with this submission I got in in my inbox a couple of days ago, since I drive this stretch of road quite often whenever I cut through Coldwater Canyon.  It’s also the stretch of road that precedes the intersection of hell where you have 7 different roads converging at a single, massive point, controlled solely by stop signs.  Rent L.A. Story, lately?

“I was driving north on Beverly when I encountered this jackhole. Keep in mind that although there are no lane markings on this part of Beverly, it is CLEARLY a two-lane stretch of street with room for parked cars along the curb.  Not only is this common knowledge, but having “STOP” painted TWICE, side-by-side, in big white letters on the pavement at 4-way stop sign intersections should be enough for the village idiot to clue in to the concept of 2 lanes.  But technically, no one can be ticketed for driving in the middle of the street as, again, there are no lane markings.  My guess is that this jacknut who was driving in the middle of the street didn’t even know that there were two lanes and was driving in the middle to prevent other drivers from “passing”.  To send him a message about the two lane thing, I start driving to his left (so if he had looked in the mirror he might have thought, oh, well maybe this street has two lanes). But no…he sllllooooowwwly starts veering into my “lane”, as if telling me that I’m not allowed to “pass”.  So after slowly veering to his left, I then move to the right since at this point he has now allotted space for a clear two-lane driving experience.  Then out of nowhere he cuts right in front of me without signaling when he sees a parking space on the right hand side of the street, practically causing a collision.  Jackhole.”

It’s true.  This guy technically can’t get ticketed for taking up 2 lanes at once in this situation since there aren’t dotted white lane markings.  So if he wanted to drive around like a clueless dingbat or a territorial asshole, that’s his prerogative.  But the “California Cut” is just completely uncalled for.  For one, there is never a shortage of parking on this stretch of Beverly, so why the rush?  Two, if you know that you’re in the ballpark of your destination, why the hell are you driving on the side of the road farthest from where you need to be?  Case in point: I see so many people in L.A. driving in the rightmost lane when they have to make a left turn 1 block later (crossing 3 lanes of traffic in the process).  Yet another classic example of an L.A. denizen’s lack of attention to detail and consideration for others.

Filed under: cell phone, clueless, observation