L.A. Can't Drive

Lost Girl Driving Around at Night with Lights Off

Nissan Versa 7DXB
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The clueless girl in her 20s in this Nissan Versa (license plate 7DXB) was driving around like a discombobulated recent transplant. She was cruising around at dusk around 8:30 pm on the 101 Freeway N without any head or taillights on. She wasn’t alone either; I counted at least 10 other drivers over the course of a few miles who were cruising around without any vehicle lamps on. Another half dozen or so only had daytime running lights on (ie. no taillights lit). When we both exited at Van Nuys and pulled up to the red light, I started flashing my high beams briefly at her to tell her to turn her lights on. When she still didn’t do it, I flashed my beams again while going south on Van Nuys. Again, no change. In fact, she was probably too absorbed in where she needed to go that she likely didn’t see me (and others) trying to get her attention to turn her lights on. We parted ways when she suddenly realized that she had to merge to the left to avoid heading into a right-turn-only lane before we hit Ventura and held up traffic in two southbound lanes while trying to navigate her car over. Look, we all get lost, I get it. But that doesn’t give us the right to throw all observation skills out the window. Signal, turn on your lights at night, check your mirrors and blind spots, etc. If you’re really lost, try pulling over to the side of the road to get your bearings.

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Apathetic Moron in Nissan Pickup Coasts Through a Red Light

Nissan 7N45
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Run red lights much? Well, if you ask the oblivious moron in his 30s driving this beaten up Nissan pickup (license plate 7N45), my guess is his answer would be who knows or who cares. This jackass blew through a red light at Noble while going east on Burbank in Sherman Oaks. It wasn’t even close, nor was this a case of the fool accelerating to beat a yellow light. By the way, in case you haven’t heard yellow means speed up, not slow down, in Los Angeles. Regardless, in this situation, the light was red for a couple seconds…long enough for cars on Noble to start entering the intersection. This tool just apathetically coasts through the intersection, forcing the other drivers to brake, and in the end he ended up having to stop at another red light anyway at Kester. Good thing there was a car in front of him there or, who knows, he may have just coasted through that red light, too. This guy also had a broken taillight, which further reinforces my point of his serious lack of attention to detail. We snapped this photo as we caught up to him at the next intersection.

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Erratic Blonde in Toyota Corolla Pinballs Down Sunset

Toyota Corolla 6XTX
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So the lady driving this blue Toyota Corolla (license plate 6XTX) likely lives somewhere in Brentwood, because we eventually saw her turn off the road into a parking alley between condos/apartments off of Barrington. If that’s the case, then she definitely knows of the construction that’s happening on Sunset Blvd. at Barrington that forces westbound traffic to merge into a single lane, causing a bit of a bottleneck when you exit the 405 Fwy. Well, apparently living in the immediate vicinity appeared to give this lady the illusion that she can drive like a headless chicken, aggressively cutting drivers off with no warning whatsoever as she tried to anticipate which westbound lane on Sunset would move faster before the merge point. Not once, not twice…hell, not even three times, but four–FOUR–times she nearly collided into other cars, including mine, while she was impatiently and futilely zigzagging back and forth without signaling. I honked at her when she almost hit my car when she was pulling one of these asinine maneuvers, and what I got in return was an apologetic wave and a thank you. Fine, I thought. Maybe she learned her lesson….and then again, maybe not. She continued her dangerously erratic behavior a couple more times, as if she were completely incapable of learning how to stay put, signal, or at the very least check mirrors and blind spots before changing lanes. This crazy bitch was delusional and thought that sticking out her hand to say she was sorry was like saying a few Hail Mary’s at Confession and then *poof* her sins were absolved. I don’t think that mindset will fly with the insurance company when she inevitably collides into another car in the near future, that is unless she manages to find religion and starts driving like a considerate human being.

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Idiotic Teens Smoking in Bed of Moving Ford Pickup

Ford pickup
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This is a submission I received yesterday from a reader who was commuting home from work in the early evening in North Hollywood. The number one killer of young adult males is stupidity, and here’s a good reason why. The reader was traveling west on Magnolia near Vineland when she saw smoke coming out from the bed of this Ford pickup truck (I couldn’t make out the license plate in the photo, though it looks like 9D35, can’t be sure). Upon closer inspection, the contributor saw teenagers lying flat on their backs smoking cigarettes (weed?) while their friend was driving. In this photo, you can see them sitting up briefly. Cops have been out in full force in the Valley, so it’s a bit odd how they missed this little joyride. Parents, don’t assume that your kids are always doing the smart thing (especially if they’re little wannabe punks, which you really can tell if you were truly honest and objective). I know teens like to have fun, but riding like pool equipment in the back of a pickup is not the way to do it…that’s just stupidity at its finest.

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Senseless Aggression Results in Near Collision with Chevy S10 Pickup

Chevy S10 5P28
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I got an Amber Alert on my phone this morning. Well, here’s a likely Californian native dickwad alert in a beaten up Chevy S10 pickup (license plate 5P28). I had just exited the 134 Fwy at Victory and was making a right onto Sonora when we encountered this impatient, aggressive dingleberry across the expansive intersection who refused to wait behind other left-turning cars in the left-turn-only lane for right-of-way clearance. This moron yanked his sh*t-mobile into opposing traffic across double yellows, leapfrogged past the other cars, and forced his left turn, daring cars making right turns in front of him to collide with his sorry ass. Mind you, there is only one lane going northeast on this stretch of Sonora, so it’s not like drivers can navigate their turns into a lane closest to them. I honked at this arrogant fu*ker out of pure spite, though I doubt he cared. Both he and his car looked like used fragments of a homeless man’s toilet paper, so chances are he could care less about what he does to other drivers on the road. Traffic was light, and this toolbag didn’t speed off into the sunset, either, so it’s not like he was in a rush. Perhaps he needed an ego boost by flexing some muscle this morning….what a pathetic way to do it.

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