L.A. Can't Drive

Crazy Speeding Jackass in Toyota Corolla


Idiocy Meter
car car car car car car
Asshole Meter
car car car car car car
All too often I encounter some weaving, speeding jackass on the road and say to myself that I wish I had a dashboard cam to capture this crap in action. Thankfully, one of our readers and regular contributors did the leg work for us and sent this submission:

“This is reckless driving at its core. Normally my more recent videos have to wait at the back of the line, but this one had to be edited and submitted early because of how incredible it is. I was going for a pointless drive last week on Holt Ave passing through Ontario and just after I switched lanes to the right, I saw this Toyota Corolla fly up on my rear out of nowhere and quickly swerve to the left. I was probably going 45-55 mph and it was as if I was parked. Hilarity ensues. You can’t see as much as I could after the first few seconds, but this guy(?) was weaving between cars like cones on a course. It clearly didn’t take long for me to pass him while he was sitting at a red light waiting to turn left. What a joke. If he just wanted to test the limits of his little Corolla, there are safer ways to do so. It’s not like I’m a slow driver either. Pretty fast in fact as some of you know, but this is one of the dumbest f*ckers I have EVER seen behind the wheel of a car. Plus, do you know how slow these cars are? I know first hand and you would have to be desperately pushing it to drive like that.”

There are racetracks where people can take their cars for a wild spin, safely away from other drivers on the road. It’s not that expensive, certainly cheaper than an auto accident and the legal battles that will inevitably follow if you get into an accident driving like sh*t-for-brains here.

Vindictive Toolbag in Subaru WRX

Subaru WRX 7LIK
Idiocy Meter
car car car car carw carw
Asshole Meter
car car car car car car
Subaru loves to talk about how safe their vehicles are, though much of that of course is dependent on the driver behind the wheel. Here is a submission I received about a week ago of this jackhole in a Subaru WRX (license plate 7LIK) sporting a UC Irvine alumni license plate frame:

“This guy almost crashed into the side of my car and I swerved into a different lane and honked. As retaliation, after an intersection, he cut me off inches away and slammed on his brakes- I almost hit him and then he sped off. He was so frustrated that I stopped the previous accident that he tried to cause another. I took this at the light following the attempted accident…”

Clearly this guy didn’t learn much at UCI, also known as the University of Chinese Immigrants while I was growing up. Still is? Yes? No? I digress. Needless to say, I’ve seen quite a few vindictive drivers out on the roads these past couple weeks. Just yesterday, this toolish geek who looked like an extra in Revenge of the Nerds back in the 80s was viciously tailgating and honking at drivers at every turn. At one point, he was leaning on his horn while going south on La Brea and waiting to make a right turn onto Hollywood Blvd., completely dismissive of the fact that cars in front of him were yielding to pedestrians crossing the street. Yes, my friend, people have the right-of-way. And to the asshole driving the Subaru above, expect to be honked if you almost hit other drivers on the road. I see that this happened in Downtown LA near USC based on the photo. Pull this stunt in a more shady part of town, and he may get more than a honking horn thrown his way.

Mom Leaves Young Daughter Alone in Running SUV

Exhibit A:
BMW X5
Exhibit B:
BMW X5
Idiocy Meter
car car car car car car
Asshole Meter
car car car car car car
Moronic mom of the year here. Full marks on both counts for such an egocentric, asinine maneuver. The submitter of these photos purposely made the license plates impossible to read (BMW X5) because she didn’t want Child Protective Services knocking on this woman’s door. Sure, I agree that one stupid mistake shouldn’t unleash a whirlwind of competency battles in court. But honestly, you really can’t get more arrogant and obtuse than this woman. Read below:

“I was at Walgreens picking up some cotton balls, and when I came out, this white car was parked behind me with the engine running. So I figured the driver was just waiting for a parking space, so I just got in my car and put it in reverse. When I looked behind me to pull out, I noticed that there was no driver in the car…that was parked behind me…with the engine running. I then noticed a young girl, probably around 11, in the back seat. I got out of my car, looked around, there was no one in the parking lot, but yet this car was parked there with the engine running. I started to walk back to the store to tell them to page this person to move their car, and the owner started walking out at the exact same time with her son. I said, “This is not a parking spot, and you can’t leave your child in the car.” She said, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize this wasn’t a spot, and I didn’t know that I couldn’t leave her in the car.” She didn’t seem genuine in her reply, but at that point there’s no use fighting someone who’s that dumb and selfish. This was the Walgreen at Coldwater and Magnolia.”

Yeah, ignorance my ass. If she didn’t know that this wasn’t a parking spot, then why was the engine running? And then why did she only take her son with her, yet leave her daughter who is too young to drive to sit by herself in a running vehicle? Was the daughter supposed to get behind the wheel and move the car in the event someone like this person who submitted the post had to pull out? Or was the daughter essentially a place marker, a way to prevent the car from getting towed? No one would be cruel or dumb enough to tow a car with a small child inside, right? Well, maybe someone who’s married to a jackhole who illegally leaves her young daughter in a running car would….

Weaving Transplant from Illinois Blatantly Runs Red Light

car1365
Idiocy Meter
car car car car car car
Asshole Meter
car car car carw carw carw
Here’s a point for the native Angelenos, though they are getting fewer by the month. Here’s a jackass transplant from Illinois who just ran a red light at Vesper on Burbank Blvd. in Sherman Oaks going east for no reason whatsoever. I kid you not, we were stopped at the red light when this fool suddenly accelerated for no reason and drove through the intersection. I honked at the guy to get him to stop, but he just rolled through. About 10-15 seconds later, the light turned green, and I easily caught up to this car. I noticed that the driver was weaving and swerving in his lane, which made me believe that he must’ve been on something or just hungover, especially since it was about 10:30 on a lazy Saturday morning. Well I think we can safely assume that this wannabe actor isn’t exactly starting off on the right foot.

Arrogant Older Lady in Red Toyota Prius Parks Like a Jackass

Toyota Prius 6BQK
Idiocy Meter
car car carw carw carw carw
Asshole Meter
car car car car car carw
Here’s another Pri-ass driver (license plate 6BQK) who unfortunately gives hybrid drivers a bad name. The parking lot at the Bed Bath & Beyond in Studio City on Ventura near Whitsett is bad enough that people don’t need to make it worse parking like a geometrically challenged moron. Not only was this oblivious old hag too lazy to adjust her vehicle, but she was also so preoccupied with chatting on her phone that she was completely oblivious to a family trying to get into the vehicle to her right. Twiggy would’ve had a hard time squeezing through that driver’s side door. The family actually had to have one of their kids climb into his car seat from the other side of the car because they couldn’t open the passenger side door on the left. Talk about such classic arrogance and blatant lack of consideration for others. Either this lady is totally blind and couldn’t see this entire charade happening in front of her or just didn’t give a sh*t.